


Seasons of Love

by teresa_agasgi



Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: F/M, pls read notes at the beginning of each chapter for the rating/content warnings if applicable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:48:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29056962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teresa_agasgi/pseuds/teresa_agasgi
Summary: A collection of Simmosa one-shots.new chapter added: 15 march 2021
Relationships: Amy Dubanowski/Jonah Simms, Amy Sosa/Jonah Simms
Comments: 71
Kudos: 63





	1. ♡

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve posted two of these before but took them down so I could put them all in one story as separate chapters, just easier for me this way :)
> 
> Anytime I write a Simmosa one shot (something not apart of a series) I’ll upload it here. As always, I’ll put clear rating descriptors and trigger/content warnings if applicable in the beginning notes for your convenience.
> 
>  _Chapters containing more mature content will be indicated with asterisks at the end of the title._  
>  M rating: *  
> E rating: **

[](https://ibb.co/JWZpV5G)


	2. You Thrill Me, You Delight Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy find out she’s pregnant and tells Jonah of the news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally posted as a companion piece/prequel to my story Heavenly Peace and is written with that universe in mind. However, I do think it can stand alone just fine. Enjoy!
> 
> **rated t for sexual themes and figurative depictions of sex**
> 
> title is from “I’ve Been Waiting for You” from Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

Amy sat in her office occupied by the clutter of her email inbox, she was rather terrible at keeping it organised and had so many unread messages she’d abandoned the hope of ever opening them. The most important information was either faxed over from corporate or given to her by phone, leaving her email to sit unattended as the collection of Bath & Body Works coupons grew larger by the minute. 

Taking her thoughts aside from the disorderliness on the laptop screen before her was Dina, who was sitting in one of the chairs placed in front of her desk. She was rambling about her period cramps and how high her libido was during this particular cycle. Amy wished she could say the same, it had been months since she and Jonah had been intimate. Not for lack of attraction but rather Amy had thrown herself so much into her work and managing the store that she was simply too worn out to do anything other than take a shower and crawl in bed at the end of the day. Usually intimacy was a part of their “routine”, not that it was a chore but it was something they did often. It was never any less enjoyable and just when Amy didn’t think there were any more stars in the universe for her to discover, Jonah showed her galaxies upon galaxies of endless pleasure. 

Now, her days off always seemed to land when Jonah was scheduled, a rather annoying occurrence because those always seemed to be the days she was most turned on. She could talk to Dina about scheduling them off at the same time but she felt bad asking for so much since she’d already delegated that task to her. So instead she relied on the trusty little vibrator stored away in her bedside table and her thoughts of Jonah. She never quite got to the blissful galaxies of stars, just the ones visible above St. Louis. The ones you’ve seen a thousand times and they still take your breath away, but don’t quite leave you breathless. For now though it was enough to suffice her desires but damn, she needed him soon. 

Amy was brought back to reality by something Dina said that made her stomach drop. 

“Aren’t we usually synced up with our periods? Because if I’m on mine then you should be on yours but I haven’t seen you sneaking your purse into the bathroom recently. Which by the way, why do you try to hide it? Everyone knows you have a period!” Amy’s eyes had gone wide in realisation as the colour drained from her face, her heart pounding in her chest at the thought. She quickly reached for her phone, opening the period tracker she’d downloaded years ago. **28 days late**. 

The words on her screen made her nauseous, she felt like her heart was about to explode, oh god why couldn’t she catch her breath? Why did her office suddenly feel so small? Amy had always had a pretty regular cycle, her period coming exactly on time every month like clockwork. She hadn’t had sex since March and that was...two months ago. Oh god. 

“Hey, Rodriguez” Dina uttered, a glint of sincerity in her voice, “what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” Amy took a shuddering breath, her exhale harsh and choppy. 

“I think I’m pregnant” she whispered, all her fear and anxiety slowly slipping away as the words took form. Why was she so scared? Her and Jonah had been married for over a year, they’d talked about the possibility of having children but hadn’t been actively trying (clearly, since they hadn’t had sex in months). Amy loved being a mother, she adored Emma and Parker. Now there was a possibility of another soul to be cherished. 

Dina said something about going into the bathroom to wait for her while she went and got pregnancy tests but all Amy wanted was Jonah. She wanted him to be with her for this, but also didn’t want him there in case it was negative and she’d got his hopes up for nothing. Amy knew he would be delighted at the news, whether or not the outcome. If it came back negative he would still remain positive, optimistic for the future. 

After what felt like an eternity Dina made her way into the bathroom, putting up a sign that read “CLOSED” so that no one would barge in. Amy saw the various tests she carried with her, her nerves once again spiking. She could hear Jonah’s voice in her head telling her _“you’re gonna be fine”_. So with that small bout of courage she took the tests from Dina and prayed a silent prayer to ease her anxious mind. 

—

Amy stared at the tests lined up on the counter, she bit her nails in worry as she waited in the slowest three minutes of her life. She noticed a second pink line begin to appear on the first one, then the next did the same. Finally, the third test flashed the word PREGNANT on the tiny screen, seemingly shouting the news to the whole world. Amy’s breathing hitched as she began to cry, from joy or fear she didn’t know. She turned and welcomed Dina’s comforting embrace, her friend holding her tightly in her arms. 

She was thrilled and also terrified. It’s not like this was her first child, but it was her first child with Jonah. How would he react? Amy knew he’d be ecstatic yet the “what ifs” still loomed in her mind. By now he would’ve clocked out and head home, leaving her to finish the shift without him being present. Only a few more hours until she could join him at home and tell him the news. Before she could try and put herself together so she could get back to work Dina assured her that she would take over the rest of the shift. Amy tried to protest but there was no arguing with Dina once she made up her mind. 

Amy gathered her things and walked to her car. She didn’t want to drive in silence all alone with her thoughts so she clicked on a playlist of show tunes—her go to when she needed comfort. As she drove home under the cloudy St. Louis sky she found herself getting more and more anxious the closer she got. By the time she pulled in the driveway her chest felt tight, the nausea was overwhelming. Jonah would know something was up when she got home early, he’d probably worry himself wondering if she was alright. Finding something to stall herself with she unlocked her phone and saw she had a text from Jonah. Parker had been with Connie for the day and was wanting to spend the night over, Jonah had text her to see if that was okay with her. Amy shot back a “yes that’s fine” in response even though she could literally walk in the door and give him the answer, she was just buying more time alone. 

Taking a deep breath Amy left the safety of her car and made her way inside. She was greeted by their Golden Retriever Belfry who was excited to see her home early. His tail thumped against the door, the joy of seeing his mother was just too much for him to handle.

“Amy?” Jonah called out questioningly, getting up from his place on the couch to walk towards her. He immediately noticed the redness of her eyes, worry washing over him. 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? What happened?” he asked, spitting out the questions so fast Amy almost couldn’t hear them. He pulled his wife into a hug and she melted into his touch. This was all she’d wanted all day and now he was here. She felt safe in his arms and every worry ceased. Sniffling she lifted her head to meet his gaze, his eyes full of concern. 

“Everything’s fine, Jonah” Amy replied, letting out a breathy laugh, “We can talk after I take a shower”. She flashed him a small smile before heading into their bathroom. 

The warmth of the water enveloped her as she washed her anxieties away. Amy felt her muscles relax as the tension released under the heat. The steam filled the room along with the scent of her vanilla and lavender body wash. Turning the water off she wrapped herself in a towel and gathered comfy clothes from the closet. She threw on one of Jonah’s old college T-shirts and her favourite pair of joggers before walking out of the bathroom, her hair still dripping wet. 

Jonah was sat on their bed, scrolling anxiously on his phone. He turned to look at her when the door opened, making sure she was okay. Amy flopped herself down on their bed and curled up next to him, once again relishing in the safety he created. Jonah ran his fingers through her wet hair, allowing her to lay with him in silence for as long as she needed. He knew she wasn’t the best at talking about what was going on inside her mind, so he’d wait patiently beside her until she was ready. 

Amy sat up to look at Jonah, his eyes scanning her face for any sign as to what was going through her head. “There’s something I need to tell you,” she started. Jonah’s heart began to race, but he couldn’t project his concern onto her. 

“Okay…” he said calmly. Swallowing the lump in his throat. 

“I’m pregnant,” Amy simply said. She watched the myriad of emotions flash across Jonah’s face as he registered her words, pure joy being the most prominent one. 

“Oh my god, Amy” he cried, pulling her into a hug once more. “Oh my god” he choked out again, his tears falling on her wet hair. Amy wept into her husband's shoulder, holding him tighter against her petite frame. Jonah tilted her chin upwards and gently cupped her face in his hands. 

“I love you so much,” he beamed, planting a kiss on her forehead and then her lips. Amy sighed into his touch, she’d needed him all day and now she had him. She deepened the kiss, moaning softly when he tugged at her hair. God she needed this. She didn’t know how many more mediocre, self-procured orgasms she could take. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, full of desire and wildly turned on. 

“Jonah,” she panted, her chest and face flushed with arousal. Amy didn’t need to say another word, he knew what that tone meant. He kissed along her neck, across her jawline, and finally to her lips. He was always so gentle with her, but tonight he found it difficult to control himself. It’d been too long, far too long. 

Amy had never felt pleasure like this before tonight. She was so glad Parker was with her parents, there was no silencing her cries as Jonah made stars rain down from the heavens. Yet another galaxy was discovered tonight, one she didn’t know existed, but god if she didn’t want to visit it again. She trembled as she relished in the aftershocks of the acme she’d just experienced. Jonah lay beside her, the two of them breathless and filled with a tired bliss. Amy curled up against him, moulding herself to his frame. He rubbed delicate circles across her bare shoulders and all was right in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One note!
> 
> 1\. Belfry is the puppy Glenn gave Amy in “Maternity Leave”!
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! ♡


	3. Grow As We Go*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonah’s a sweetheart and loves to take care of Amy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally posted as a companion piece/sequel to my story Heavenly Peace and is written with that universe in mind. However, I do think it can stand alone just fine. Enjoy!
> 
> **rated m for mild sexual content and various mature themes  
>  CW // brief mentions of past sexual coercion and negative body image, implied postpartum depression**
> 
> _this chapter was written to help me overcome anxieties I have surrounding intimacy so I apologise if it doesn’t sound completely ‘fluid’. I had to stop and take breaks due to quickly becoming overwhelmed..even though it isn’t necessarily super explicit to me it is a lot, but I’m proud of myself for trying. :)_
> 
> title is from “Grow As We Go” by Ben Platt

The New Year came and went as winter turns to spring. Layers of snow melted and brought forth lush greenery, the trees budding fresh new leaves. The long and cold wintry nights faded into memory as the sun broke through the clouds bringing warmth to St. Louis once again.

Jonah and Amy Simms found themselves getting into more of a rhythm as they learned to parent two small children at once. Four year old Parker and three month old Gwendolyn were at the center of their universes. Emma had returned to college after spending the holidays back home and the first signs of spring brought the beginning of a new season of life.

Amy had struggled through the darkness of winter, after having a baby girl just a week before Christmas she found herself exhausted from the busyness of the holiday season on top of taking care of a newborn. Jonah had helped her the best he could, being a shoulder for her to cry on for countless nights. He took care of Gwen if she woke up during the night, he wanted Amy to be rested even if it meant losing sleep on his side.

Aside from being completely exhausted, Amy also became more self conscious and shy around Jonah. Having bore three children she couldn’t help but notice the stretch marks on her belly. She didn’t hate them, she was grateful for her body and having created three precious lives she saw these marks as a reminder of her strength. Yet deep down she worried about what Jonah would think, which was silly because he loved every fiber of her being and every inch of her skin was utter perfection in his eyes.

Although cleared to have sex again at her six week postpartum appointment Amy felt nowhere near ready, especially emotionally. Her hormones had been all over the place and seeing Jonah be such a loving father to their children made her libido skyrocket. Physically she wanted him but mentally she knew she needed time. After Parker was born she couldn’t wait to jump right back into intimacy. Perhaps it was the open bar at the managers conference in Chicago that helped her put her insecurities about her body aside and invite Jonah into the bath with her. Drunken bathtub sex was not what she expected her first time after having a baby to be like but at least if there was any discomfort she didn’t remember it. With Emma though she recalls the less-than-enjoyable sex with Adam only a month after giving birth. Adam had whined about how his “needs weren’t being met” and the very tired and frustrated young mother gave in to make him shut up about it, at the expense of her own comfort.

Amy didn’t know why this time around was different but thankfully Jonah understood and encouraged her to wait until she felt emotionally ready. They hadn’t been intimate since the seventh month of her pregnancy nearly five months ago. Jonah never complained or made a fuss about the extended period they’d gone without some form of intimacy, he couldn’t imagine what her body was going through after creating a human life. He also saw the toll it took on her emotional state, she neglected to care of herself if it meant that her children were properly looked after.

Noticing this, Jonah decided to do something extra special for her to enjoy after she put the kids down for the night. While she was readying the children for bed he drew a warm epsom salt bath for her and lit a Stress Relief candle from the Bath & Body Works aromatherapy collection. Jonah retrieved a bath tray from the linen closet and sat Amy’s laptop on it with _The Great British Baking Show_ cued up on Netflix. He also moved the salt lamp from their room into the bathroom so the ambient lighting created a more relaxing atmosphere. He then gathered her favourite sleep shirt (which was simply an oversized old Cloud 9 T-shirt) and a pair of joggers, folding them neatly on the counter for her to put on after her bath. Jonah had poured a glass of Chardonnay earlier and sat it on the tray along with a little handwritten note.

Amy walked into the bedroom expecting to find Jonah already in bed but was greeted by its emptiness. She heard noise coming from their bathroom and assumed he was taking a shower. Before she could even crawl under the covers Jonah made his appearance from behind the door, seemingly startled at the sight of her.

“Oh, hi,” he started, not expecting to see her as he didn’t hear her come in, “I have a surprise for you.” Smiling he led a suspicious Amy into the bathroom where she saw the bath he’d drawn for her. She let out a breathy laugh and turned to face him, resting her hands on his chest.

“How did I get so lucky?” she asked, placing a quick kiss upon his lips.

“You’ve done so much for Parker and Gwen these past few months, you deserve some time to yourself to relax,” Jonah responded. Amy kissed him once more before he made his way out of the bathroom, leaving her to enjoy some quiet time by herself.

“Let me know when you’re ready to get out, I have something else for you too” he said as he closed the door. Jonah settled in under the duvet and flipped through the channels on the TV, eventually deciding on reruns of _Frasier_. It’s not like he was actually watching it, it was just some background noise while he scrolled through Instagram and other various apps on his phone.

A little while later he heard Amy call out for him so he hopped out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He grabbed her robe from the hook behind the door and helped her out of the bath. Amy realised this was the first time he’d seen her completely naked after having Gwen and couldn’t help but feel exposed and vulnerable as he wrapped the robe around her. Sensing his wife’s anxieties he placed a tender hand on her cheek, cupping her face lovingly.

“Hey” he began softly, almost worried to speak louder than a whisper, “it’s just me”. Jonah saw her eyes soften at his sincerity, letting her head fall against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her in closer. She melted into his embrace, savouring one of the few moments they get to share just the two of them.

Jonah had offered to wash Amy’s hair for her to which she immediately agreed. Dry shampoo had become her best friend these past few months and it’d been almost a week since she’d last washed it properly. She took her hair out of its messy bun and leaned back so her head was under the sink faucet. Jonah ran his fingers through her chocolate brown hair, wetting it with the warm water. The light smell of Pantene shampoo and conditioner lingered in the air as he encased her wet hair in a towel. She sat on the rim of the bathtub as Jonah brushed through her hair, carefully removing any tangles. He then grabbed her blow dryer and massaged the remaining moisture out of her hair, smoothing it with the brush afterwards.

As he was putting away her hair products Jonah heard a small sniffling coming from his wife. Kneeling down in front of her he placed his hand on her knee, leaning forward to pepper sweet kisses in the crook of her neck. Amy began to cry harder as she covered her face with her hands, almost embarrassed at the sudden onslaught of emotion. Jonah soothed her the best he knew how, holding her tightly and cradling her head. He didn’t pressure her to talk to him, he just sat with her, being a comforting presence in her time of need.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” Amy choked out, her cries beginning to soften. “you always make me feel so beautiful, even if I don’t feel it myself.”

“My Amelia,” Jonah whispered, rarely did he use her full name but when he did it made her heart flutter, “you are forever my moment of beauty”. He placed a kiss on her lips and hugged her once more. Amy stood to get dressed and Jonah tidied up the bathroom before making his way to their bed.

After finishing readying herself for bed, Amy curled up next to Jonah as the two watched TV.

“I love you so much,” Amy said, turning her head to kiss him. He welcomed her lips on his, sighing as she deepened the kiss. Suddenly Amy couldn’t get enough of him, wanting to be ever closer. She felt his hand on the back of her head, grabbing a fistful of her dark hair. A soft moan escaped her lips at his touch, she needed more. There was no way in hell she’d ever go this long without him again. Her stomach flipped at the very thought. She pulled away and looked deep into Jonah’s eyes, god those eyes. So enchanting and full of adoration for the woman he loved so dear.

“Jonah,” she muttered, the tone in her voice sending sparks of electricity coursing through his body. He knew exactly what she was wanting and damn if he didn’t want it too.

“And you’re sure you’re ready?” Jonah questioned, wanting to confirm that she was indeed thinking the same thing he was. Amy nodded her head in agreement, flashing him a soft smile. She felt like a maiden again, the same nerves making her chest feel heavy as her heart pounded in curious anticipation. She shifted into a more comfortable position, her freshly clean hair splayed out across the pillow.

Jonah once again sensed Amy’s restless energy, almost able to hear her racing heartbeat.

“We’ll take it slow,” he said, settling her worried mind. “We don’t have to go all the way”.

“What about you?” Amy asked, thoughts wandering back to Adam and how he placed his selfish desires over his then wife’s own comfort.

“Don’t worry about me,” Jonah reassured her, “just promise me you’ll stop me if anything feels remotely uncomfortable or if you change your mind.” He was always so considerate of her own enjoyment and was constantly checking in on her. In the past, however, Amy sometimes found this sweet trait rather annoying as she wanted to silence him by telling him to just _shut up and fuck me_. Tonight though she was grateful for her husband’s thoughtfulness as she was unsure as to how her body would respond.

He started slow as he had promised, placing gentle kisses along her jaw, down her neck, and her collarbone. He ran his hand down her body to the bottom of her shirt to which she promptly stopped him from removing.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, “I should’ve asked”.

“You’re okay, it’s just-“ Amy began, stopping herself mid-sentence as she realised that a few stretch marks weren’t going to deter Jonah’s affections. Clearly after all he’d been through with her he still found her exceedingly beautiful, becoming more and more radiant by the day. So she pushed her insecurities aside, confident in her husband’s devotion and pulled the shirt up over her head. She felt the coolness on her bare skin and shivered slightly, whether from the sudden chill or her anxieties she wasn’t entirely sure.

Jonah proceeded to kiss between her exposed breasts all the down way to the waistline of her joggers. He made sure it was okay to remove them before pulling them down to her ankles, her underwear the only piece of clothing left on her body. He kissed the inside of her thighs, slowly making his way towards her center. Pushing aside her underwear, Amy gasped when she felt his mouth on her most intimate place. Shocks of pleasure rushed through her body, she’d missed this. A moan escaped her lips as Jonah began to work wonders with his tongue on her. Whimpering she curled her fingers around the bed sheets in an attempt to ground herself in reality to no avail, an almost embarrassing noise was elicited from her as Jonah delicately pushed two fingers inside of her, glancing up from between her legs to make sure she felt no discomfort. The way he made her feel was indescribable, he knew exactly what she liked and how to get her to experience utter bliss.

It wasn’t long before Amy saw stars as she rode out the waves of her orgasm and trembling she cried out in adoration, grabbing a fistful of Jonah’s dark hair with one hand and biting down on the other to stifle the screams she wished she could release if it weren’t for her children being just down the hallway. Her chest rose and fell quickly as she came down from her pinnacle. Ecstasy shot through her veins as she sighed through the aftershocks of pleasure, squeezing her thighs tighter together while relishing in the euphoria Jonah procured for her.

He made his way up the bed and kissed her, tasting herself on his lips. Not wanting to jinx the satisfaction she’d just experienced she decided that for tonight it was enough. Jonah agreed with her and laid down beside her, wrapping his arms around her torso and nestling his head in the crook of her neck. She turned and pressed her lips against Jonah’s forehead.

“I love you,” she whispered. She’d never known a love like this before, he was all she’d been yearning for in her loneliest days.

“I adore you,” Jonah responded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! ♡


	4. You Knock Me Out, I Fall Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short little Jonah x Parker fic since we’re all hurting after 06x07 🥲

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to _Dear Theodosia_ while writing this so there’s some lyrics embedded in because I mean...they were too perfect. 
> 
> **rated g, nothing but fluff ♡**
> 
> title is from “Dear Theodosia” from Hamilton

Jonah opened the door to his and Amy’s shared home. He heard Connie in the living room with Parker, she usually watched him a few times a week either at her house or theirs. She’d insisted that Amy let her babysit instead of paying for daycare when his grandmother would be more than happy to stay with him out of the kindness of her heart. Upon Jonah’s arrival into the living room, Parker happily toddled toward him, his little arms extended as he reached for his father. 

Though not related by blood Jonah _was_ his father in every other sense of the word. He’d been there through the entirety of Amy’s pregnancy, he was there for every doctor's appointment, for every ultrasound, for countless hours of shopping to prepare the nursery all the while he maxed out his credit cards but never told Amy as not to stress her. When she went into labour it took every ounce of his being to not completely freak out because what the _hell_ was he supposed to do? Did she want him to stay? Would it be weird if he stayed since he was just the boyfriend who was not the father of the child about to be delivered? Wait..could he even say he was Amy’s _boyfriend_? Despite all this they hadn’t actually put a label on their relationship. Which wasn’t just about the sex, clearly since there were obviously feelings there and had been for some time (though the sex was great, no, scratch that—mind blowing, so Jonah couldn’t complain). 

Regardless of labels, Jonah stayed at Amy’s request. He could tell she didn’t want to be alone, she wanted someone to be there with her to hold her hand, so he did. As her labour progressed and the contractions became more frequent and much more intense Jonah stayed right there beside her. It distressed him to see her in so much pain, her eyes squeezed tightly shut, small tears managing to escape as they rolled down her cheeks. His hand was sore from the death grip Amy’d had on it, but who was he to make a fuss when she was literally about to bring an entire human being into the world. 

When he did at last come into the world he cried and it broke Jonah’s heart. At first glance he completely fell apart, he’d never felt such affection. Parker was every bit a piece of Amy...and no part of him. Upon this realisation Jonah felt wildly out of place, almost like he was intruding on this special moment between Amy and Adam, who was Parker’s actual father. So he quietly excused himself and scurried off before his nervous energy caused him to say something he’d regret. 

Later that night though Amy called him, asking for him to come back. Adam had gone home because he’d had a “crazy day and needed to sleep”, which irritated Jonah like nothing else because his ex-wife had literally just given birth and he was more worried about himself. Jonah meandered through the halls of that run down clinic and tried to enter Amy’s room as silently as possible in case she was sleeping. Which she was and so was Parker, who laid in a little crib beside her bed. Not entirely knowing what to do he gently placed a kiss on Amy’s head, causing her to stir as her eyes fluttered open. She took a deep breath in as she woke, wincing after habitually stretching out only to be met with the soreness from her labours. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay” Jonah said to her while running his hand across her forehead as he moved the hair that had fallen around and was now covering her eyes. He didn’t know what to say, he’d never done anything remotely as hard or as tiring as what she’d endured today. He admired her strength, adding to the growing list of incredible things she’d done. Amy grabbed Jonah’s free hand, this time gentle as her tired eyes met his. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, smiling softly and her voice filled with fatigue. He didn’t know why tears sprung to his eyes, but they did. The love he felt for this woman was unfathomable, he completely and utterly adored her. Every fiber of her being was perfect, she was altogether lovely. There was no flaw in Amy Sosa. Now there was Parker, who Jonah already loved immensely simply because he was a part of Amy, his love for him growing by the day. 

As Jonah swooped Parker up into his arms he peppered him with affectionate kisses, to which he delightfully shrieked in response to his dad's unconditional love. Parker’s tiny arms hugged Jonah’s neck as he nestled his head into the safety and comfort of his father’s embrace. His smile outshined the morning sun and Jonah was completely undone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! ♡


	5. If You Wanna Go to Heaven**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _If you wanna go to heaven you should fuck me tonight_
> 
> This story takes place during the timeline of S5 E12, “Myrtle”. I watched this ep and when Amy said she’d prefer Jonah pay her back in sex I got the idea to write this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I’m really debating whether or not to post this chapter yet here I am. One of my goals in 2021 is to better my writing and expand what I write. After careful deliberation I decided to write some ~steamy~ Simmosa.
> 
> Something to note is that I identify as asexual. I found it rather difficult to write about things I’ve never felt or experienced and relied solely on what I’ve read in other fics and what I’ve seen on television/movies. I also have some weird anxieties surrounding sex so this was extremely anxiety inducing to write. Why I continued I honestly don’t know but here it is. I would really, really like feedback on this particular story because I genuinely don’t know if it’s even like...accurate I guess? Anyway at this point I’m just rambling but I hope you enjoy whatever this is...it’smyprocrastinatingchapter3ofMeetMeinSt.Louis LMAO
> 
> **rated e for explicit sexual content and language**
> 
> title is from “Young God” by Halsey.  
> Idk, it just felt right.

Jonah and Amy walked through the door of their shared home after a rather odd day at work. After learning of Myrtle's passing and then discovering the $1,000 she’d left to “Sweet Prince Jonah” the series of events that followed were nothing less than strange. In the end Jonah let Glenn keep the money so that Myrtle could “get into heaven”, and if everyone was being completely honest that was obviously a scam on Pastor Craigs part. Unfortunately though that seemed to be the best option on what to do with the sum of money, so first-class heaven for Myrtle it was.

Jonah tried to give the money to Amy, with her being the main contributor to the rent he felt it was the least he could do. She declined saying she’d much rather him pay her back in sex, which to be fair wasn’t all that bad of deal. After having been dating for nearly two years their sex life was still completely and utterly amazing. The years of pining and sexual tension was all worth it when they panted each other’s names between messy kisses and intertwined limbs.

Amy kicked off her black stilettos eager to get some form of relief from the pain in both of her heels. Barefoot she walked into the kitchen to get something to drink before retreating to the couch for the remainder of the night. Emma and Parker were spending a few days with Adam as agreed upon in the custody arrangements and for the first time in what felt like forever they had the house to themselves.

She grabbed the Brita water pitcher from the fridge and before she could even get a glass from the cabinet she felt Jonah’s hands cup her face as he turned her to face him, their lips crashing onto one another’s. Amy stumbled slightly at the sudden change in position, her feet tangled underneath her. Jonah stabilised her by sliding one hand to rest at the small of her back and pulled her against him.

“What are you doing?”, Amy questioned after breaking the kiss, letting out a breathy laugh as she looked deep into his eyes in search of an answer.

“Paying you back”, Jonah said smugly, an amused grin plastered across his face. He kissed her again, harder this time and with more intent than the last. Amy relaxed into his touch, sighing as he tugged gently at her hair. She pushed herself impossibly closer to him, her breasts flush against his chest as the growing ache of arousal between her legs became more and more undeniable. Jonah having been so forward with his advances had definitely turned her on.

Suddenly any trace of gentility was gone as Amy pushed Jonah back towards the opposite counter, her hands framing his face as their kisses became more fervent. He pushed the blue blazer off her shoulders and tossed it aside. If this were any other circumstance she would’ve scolded him for treating such an expensive article of clothing so carelessly, but right now she needed it off of her. She needed _everything_ off of her.

Amy fumbled with the buttons of Jonah’s stupid plaid shirt, cursing her shakey hands for failing her. Finally she was able to get it off, revealing his white undershirt that stayed on for approximately two seconds before she pulled it over his head. Jonah was trying to open the front of her blue button down but struggled with the smallness of the buttons, his hands also shaking in anticipation. He resorted to almost ripping the shirt apart in a desperate attempt to free her from it.

“Hey, hey! Calm down you’re going to ruin one of my favourite shirts” Amy hissed, letting a small laugh escape her lips to signal she wasn’t actually cross with him. As she finished unbuttoning her blouse, Jonah undid his belt buckle and pulled it off, feeling liberated from its constraints. He turned her so that her back was now to the counter, he helped lift her up onto the countertop all the while their lips never broke contact. The front of Amy’s shirt was open, displaying the black bra that made her breasts look incredible. Jonah unbuckled her belt and pulled her slacks down to her ankles, leaving her underwear as the only item of clothing on her body from the waist down.

He knelt down and pushed open her knees to allow him better access and he began kissing the inside of her thighs. He was nowhere near where she wanted him, her center now throbbing and embarrassingly wet. The moan that came from Amy as Jonah pulled off her Victoria’s Secret underwear and _finally_ put his mouth on her sounded like pure heaven. He ran his tongue all the way from the bottom of her entrance to her clit, where he stopped and paid special attention as he made circles while eliciting a symphony of praise from Amy. Jonah groaned as her cries became needier, he sucked at her clit harder and used firmer pressure with his tongue. She swore she was about to black out from the sheer amount of pleasure that was coursing through her body. She had one hand on the top of Jonah’s head that was between her legs and with the other she gripped the edge of the countertop.

Just when Amy thought it couldn’t get any better than this she felt him push two fingers inside her. She choked out a moan as her mouth fell open, her chest rising and falling quickly in rhythm with her sighs. Jonah muffled her cries by coming up to meet her lips, tasting herself as he kissed her. His thumb flicked her clit as Amy grinded into his hand, completely helpless and at his control. Jonah watched her as she threw her head back, eyes shut and mouth open, _fuckpleasedontstop_ the only intelligible string of words Jonah could make out from his girlfriend. She felt her orgasm building as his fingers slid in and out of her, slick and wet. With a few more thrusts, bumping her clit against the palm of his hand each time, Amy came with a cry, cursing loudly as she rode out the waves of pleasure washing over her. She pulled his face towards hers, kissing him roughly as she squeezed her thighs together, relishing in the aftershocks of her orgasm.

Needing more, Amy turned her attention to removing the pair of black jeans that was somehow still on Jonah. She felt him straining against the fabric that was suddenly all too tight. Pushing down his jeans and boxers, his hard dick was finally freed from the constraints of his pants. Jonah pulled Amy to the edge of the counter, she wrapped her legs around his waist as he lined himself up with her entrance. With one upward thrust Jonah slid effortlessly into Amy, the two of them sighing as they found their rhythm.

“Oh my fucking god,” Jonah cursed, his head in the crook of her neck as he marvelled at how her walls felt around him. Each thrust sent sparks of electricity coursing through Amy’s belly, she ran her nails down his back grasping for every inch of his skin. Her blue blouse had almost completely slipped off her shoulders before finally removing it, she promptly snaked one hand around to undo the clasp of her bra. Jonah helped keep her steady as she threw the bra to the side, her bare breasts exposed and the two of them now completely naked. With a free hand Jonah took one of her breasts and firmly squeezed, which warranted a moan from Amy. His other hand rested on her back, balancing them both. She was almost completely undone by all the pleasurable sensations she was experiencing .

“Please Jonah,” Amy begged. “Oh my god, _fuck_ please don’t stop, oh _shit_ ,” she cried, her voice an octave higher as literal tears rolling down her cheeks from the overwhelming bliss that was consuming her. Jonah’s pace became faster as he felt his orgasm approaching, his groans mixing in with Amy’s. With every thrust he hit her g-spot, making her see stars while her vision blurred. She begged him to go even faster, harder; the only noise that filled the house was coming from them. 

“Jesus, Amy, you’re so _beautiful_. Do you know that? Shit, I love you,” he said, nipping at her collarbone as he fucked her, hard and fast and full of need.

“I love you too, _holy shit_ ,” Amy replied, though halfway through her response her voice turned shrill as she screamed, taken aback by the arrival of her second, and much more intense, orgasm. She bit down on his bare shoulder, trying to stifle the ungodly noises coming from her. Amy tightly squeezed her eyes shut as she felt Jonah slip in and out of her, each thrust sending impossible waves of euphoria searing through her veins.

Jonah had yet to finish and he moved his hand from her breast down to her clit, rubbing her eagerly with two fingers. He felt her legs tighten around his waist and her nails raked across his skin, she threw her head back and released a moan that sent chills down Jonah’s spine. He loved how vocal she was during sex, it drove him wild to know he was the one eliciting such heavenly sounds from her. Tears of pleasure were now streaming down Amy’s face at the added stimulation, how someone could make her feel this good was beyond fathoming.

With one final thrust and a clever flick of his thumb, Jonah and Amy both reached their climaxes together. His hips bucked as he came and he groaned loudly at the satisfaction, cursing as he spilled everything he had deep within her. Amy’s now scream was somewhat silenced by Jonah planting a firm kiss on her lips, she whimpered into his mouth completely unable to control herself as she orgasmed for the third time. Her entire body trembled as Jonah sighed through the remainder of his orgasm, his face buried in the hair that framed her face. His thrusts slowed to a stop and for now he remained inside her, savouring the feeling of her tightness around him and not wanting this moment to ever end.

After coming down from their respective highs the two lay flush against each other, panting in exhaustion. Jonah pulled out and kissed her tenderly, feeling her smile against his lips. Breaking, he noticed her wiping the remaining tears from her eyes and was very obviously filled with worry.

“Oh my god, I didn’t hurt you did I? Why didn’t you say anything I would’ve stopped, just please tell me I didn’t hurt you,” the words flew out of his mouth at a mile a minute, he scanned her face anxiously for an answer. Amy let out a little laugh, which eased his nerves slightly but it wasn’t quite the answer he was looking for.

“No, no you didn’t hurt me, I promise,” she began, “that was just some of the best fucking sex I’ve ever had in my life”. Both of them laughed as Amy kissed him once more.

“I really did mean it you know,” Jonah started, a puzzled look forming on Amy’s face as she tried to figure out what exactly he was referring to. “About how beautiful you are. Gorgeous, stunning, sexy” he said, peppering kisses across her bare shoulders in between adjectives. Amy let out a genuine laugh at ‘sexy’, remembering Jonah’s slip of tongue at Cheyenne’s wedding.

“God use another word,” she giggled, surges of affection fluttering in her belly. Jonah swooped her up bridal style as she let out another laugh, her smile lighting up the room. He went to their bedroom and laid her down softly on the bed, also laying down beside her.

“So...about how much do I owe you now?” Jonah asked. Amy playfully hit his arm at the question, rolling her eyes slightly.

“Shut up”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...there..that was. If there’s any grammatical errors I’m sorry, I literally only skimmed through it once in its entirety because it made me nauseous to think I wrote _that_. 
> 
> For this particular story I’d really love some feedback because I’ve never written (or felt/experienced LOL) anything like this. 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! ♡
> 
> Also, incase you don’t remember the outfits I describe above here’s a screenshot from the ep to jog your memory ;)  
> [](https://imgbb.com/)


	6. My Moment of Beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonah and Amy get married 🥲

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy throwback!  
> I found this sitting in my Google Drive from _over two years ago!_ I remember I posted it here but deleted it a while back, I’m not sure why. This was my first Simmosa fanfic and idk how I feel about it 😬 To be quite honest I find it kinda cringey but at this point we need some hope of a Jonah/Amy wedding so maybe by reposting this it’ll be a manifestation of their reunion 😂
> 
> I haven’t edited anything, just uploaded the original document here..enjoy!
> 
> **rated g, nothing but fluff ♡**

Jonah stood under the altar against the backdrop of rolling hills and clear skies. The trees were just starting to turn, shifting into glorious hues of yellows, reds, and oranges. The green however, still masking autumn beauty about to unfold in the coming weeks. He surveyed the familiar faces scattered around the venue; his coworkers, his family and friends, all here to celebrate with him as he married the love of his life.

The crowd stood, their faces adorned with a variety of emotions. Some wiped their face of tears, others beamed joyfully with smiles so wide it must have been uncomfortable. Jonah had never been so full of joy, Amy truly did make him feel like he was on cloud nine. The way she cared for him, fought for him, and most importantly, the way she loved him. She loved immensely-though it might not often show at work- Amy Sosa was madly in love with Jonah Simms. 

Jonah’s gaze suddenly fell upon Earth’s most beautiful creation. His breathing hitched, he took shaky breaths as he tried to contain himself the best he could. Amelia wore an elegantly long dress with a lace bodice, ¾ sleeves, and an open back. She looked as stunning as ever, she was perfect. Jonah felt a single, hot tear roll down his cheek, his eyes glistened as he continued to let them fall freely. Amy was just so beautiful, altogether lovely, altogether heavenly. 

She kissed her father on the cheek as they arrived at the altar, she gathered her dress and proceeded to join her soon-to-be husband in front of the crowd whose eyes were now all shimmering. Jonah wiped the collection of tears off his face, Amy beamed with pure adoration as he took her hands in his. Her chocolate hair cascaded down her shoulders, framing her face ever so perfectly. He noticed the slight glint of tears threatening to spill from her umber eyes. Her eyes. They held the entire universe within them, swirling galaxies and infinite stars lay all within the deep brown abyss. 

Jonah took a deep, faulty breath and began his vows: 

“Little did I know when I decided one day to just drive that I would meet not only my best friend, but my future wife. You are my everything. My universe and my eternal love. I love you more than you’ll ever be able to wrap your head around. You never cease to make me happy, to make me laugh. You brighten up any room you’re in with your adorable, infectious smile. I can’t wait to share my life with you. I love you so much, Amy, more than you could ever comprehend. You are forever my moment of beauty”. 

Amy shuddered with a sob, oh how she loved him. He was really crying now, tears falling fast as he gazed deeply into her eyes. She smiled almost sheepishly as she began her vows:

“Jonah..you’re my best friend. You showed me beauty in the everyday, mundane things. You’ve always been there for me, without any questions or hesitation, you were there. You have always believed in me, cheered for me, and most importantly, you’ve always loved me. Even when times got hard, you loved me..and you will continue to love me for the rest of our lives. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Jonah Simms. I love you more than words could ever say”.

Jonah slipped the wedding band he had so precisely picked on onto Amy’s left ring finger. It was a stunning white gold, three diamond ring. The sun shone directly onto the diamonds as they twinkled, dancing light now on Amy’s hand. 

As the officiant pronounced them husband and wife, Jonah grabbed Amy’s face, cradling it gently as he pressed his lips gently against hers. He felt her grin as she leaned into him. The crowd rose to their feet in an applause of joy. 

“I now present to you, for the first time as husband and wife, Mr. & Mrs. Jonah and Amelia Simms”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed my FIRST Simmosa fic! I like to think my writing has gotten better since then, at least I hope 🤞🏻
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! ♡


	7. ABCs of Superstore (video)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't a story but rather a video I made!

Not only do I write stories I also like to make video edits! This one was sooo funny to make and I thought I'd share it here. You can see more edits of mine on my YouTube: Teresa Agasgi! ♡ 

Update:  
AMERICA FERRERA REPOSTED THIS VIDEO IN HER INSTAGRAM STORY AHHHH  
[](https://ibb.co/2FKWbmp)  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! ♡


	8. She Made a Scandal and a Star**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all workdays are boring when you’re dating the boss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm idk what this is. I’m trying to broaden my horizons of the content I write and my last steamy Simmosa fic was met with surprisingly good feedback so here’s another I guess? 
> 
> I’m still asexual as fuck so...hopefully this is accurate? I wouldn’t know lmao. I wanted to depict a much more lighthearted scene here, from smutty fics I’ve read on here they’re all “serious” I guess you could say. I tried to capture the clumsier side of intimacy in this story, hopefully it worked? If not let me know so I don’t embarrass myself lmao. 
> 
> **rated e for explicit sexual content...but it’s also kinda fluffy ig**
> 
> title is from “Roxie” from Chicago

It was a sunny spring day as Jonah stocked shelves at the Ozark Highlands Cloud 9. He’d spent some time talking with Garret at customer service before actually going to do the work he’d been assigned to do that day by management, which was Amy. The perk of dating the boss was occasionally he could convince her to let him work in a certain area of the store, which was exactly what he had done the previous night as she worked on the shift assignments for the next day. Some days he preferred the positions where he could work alone, setting his own pace and not having to rely on someone else to help complete whatever task was at hand. 

His phone dinged with the arrival of a text so habitually he unlocked it and went to his messages. It was a habit he really should kick, there was so much more to life than notifications and Instagram likes yet here he was. Jonah saw it was a text from Amy, rather odd since whenever she needed something from him she usually went and spoke to him in person. 

_Can you come here, please._ her text simply read. So he quickly finished the row he was working on and made his way to her office. After winding through the halls at the back of the store he found himself outside her door, noticing the blinds on the small window were shut. Jonah knocked and heard a muffled “come in” from the other side. Opening the door he saw Amy sitting at her desk with her laptop in front of her, her eyebrows furrowed as she typed. 

“Hey, what’s up?” he said casually, watching as she looked up at him smiling.

“Lock the door” she replied, shutting her laptop and standing to move towards him. 

“Um..why?” Jonah asked as he obliged, his words drawn out as he spoke. He felt his stomach flip because he damn well knew the answer based on her demeanour alone but wanted to hear her answer. 

“Because if I don’t come within the next ten minutes or so I’m going to lose my mind,” she half laughed before hooking her fingers through the belt loops on his jeans and pulling him into her, tiptoeing slightly to plant a firm kiss on his lips. He placed his hands on either side of her face, suddenly hungry for more of her as he nipped at her bottom lip. Amy broke away from him, her gaze piercing through his entire existence and causing him to feel weak in the knees. She completely wrecked him with her eyes alone, they were so bewitching and enticing. 

“Go sit down” Amy said, nodding her head towards the desk chair she’d just been seated at. There was something so arousing about her being so straightforward with what she wanted that it only caused him to become even more turned on, obviously. Jonah sat down and watched her awkwardly straddle him, both of them laughing as they found a comfortable position between the armrests. 

“Undo this,” she laughed, fumbling with his belt buckle, “we don’t have all day”. She moved her hands to work on removing the pair of black slacks she was wearing, pushing them down right past her knees. Jonah shimmied ungracefully underneath her, pulling his jeans down just enough to allow him access to her. There was nothing remotely “sexy” about the situation they found themselves in. They laughed at one another’s awkwardness and their pants were at such strange locations on their legs they dug into their skin. 

Amy leaned forward to kiss him as she reached down between them to line him up with her. Holy shit he was hard, she was flattered at that discovery due to the fact she looked anything but attractive at the odd angle she was positioned in. 

“Fuck,” Jonah cursed as he pushed into her. 

“Yeah, me” she laughed in response, her smile lighting up the room. She put her forehead in the crook of his neck, her hands on his shoulders while sighing as they found their rhythm. Jonah snaked his hands around her back down to her ass, giving a firm squeeze which elicited a moan that was too loud for comfort. They both froze for a second, Amy giggling at the secrecy they had to withhold. 

“Okay go on,” she whispered, a stupidly huge grin still plastered across her face. Jonah snickered as he continued, thrusting up into her trying to remain as silent as possible, which was difficult considering the fact that she felt amazing around him. Amy rolled her hips to match him, grabbing one of his wrists and pulling his hand between her legs. He pressed his thumb firmly against her clit and felt her sink her teeth into his shoulder to stifle the whimpers now coming from her. Shocks of pleasure raced through her belly with each thrust and she gripped his shoulders harder, her nails digging into his skin. Jonah sighed quietly in her ear, helpless little moans escaping his lips which made her smile. The two laughed at themselves and the situation they were currently in: they were having sex at work, it wasn’t the first time and in all honesty probably wouldn’t be the last.

Amy shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut tighter, bringing her attention back to what Jonah was doing between her legs. Her mouth fell open as he circled her clit, ragged exhales being released from her. She felt her orgasm quickly approaching at the stimulation. 

“Jonah,” she panted, “please tell me you’re close”. 

“Yeah, yeah I am,” he replied breathlessly, his thrusts becoming quicker and more eager as he too neared his climax. Amy strengthened her grip on his shoulders, focusing on how he felt slipping in and out of her, how his thumb flicked her clit and sent waves of euphoria rushing through her. Jonah felt her walls tighten around him as she reached her orgasm, coming hard with a small shriek. She covered her mouth with her hands, hoping she hadn’t been as loud as she thought. It only took another thrust before he was coming too, messily filling her with everything he had. He continued to massage her center through the aftershocks of her climax, causing her to come again a second time not long after the first. Amy cursed and lost her breath in shock, trembling as she rode it out. Jonah watched as she sat back, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed like they were when he walked in. She breathed in and out shakily through her nose, humming quietly as she came down from her high. She had not expected to come twice but wasn't complaining about it. 

Returning to reality both of them tried not to burst into a fit of laughter at their scandalous escapade, to which they failed terribly. Sometimes quick, less than perfect sex filled with laughs and awkward positions was every bit as thrilling as some “romantic” extended session. Amy clambered off him, falling flat on her butt after becoming tangled up in her slacks. She glanced up at Jonah who was now almost in tears from her clumsiness. 

“Come here you dork,” he managed to get out, offering his hand and pulling her up. The two of them put themselves back together, straightening out their pants and smoothing over their other pieces of clothing. Amy huffed, pushing her hair behind her ear and rolling her shoulders back. She bit her lip in an attempt to hide the smile on her face, she was failing miserably. 

“Now get back to work,” she laughed, trying to sound serious but snorted as she spoke. Jonah cackled and left her office, struggling to wipe the ridiculous grin off his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I _really_ hope this reads well and gives off the vibe I wanted. I’d love your feedback on this story bc I’m an asexual human being writing smut and idk if it’s true to life so pls help me lol
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! ♡


	9. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Jonah’s nightly routine with Parker was uprooted by the move to California. 
> 
> //
> 
> inspired by a prompt I saw on Twitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good God I made myself cry writing this. I need Simmosa to be endgame and a Jonah/Parker reunion or I’m going to lose it. Amy Sosa the baby stealer shall pay for her crimes. I can’t even cope. 
> 
> **rated g, nothing but fluff and sadness ♡**
> 
> Title is from “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” by Sierra Boggess

Amy carried a very sleepy Parker to his room, his arms wrapped around her neck while his head rested on her shoulder. She hoped that tonight he would be too tired and spare her the meltdown he’d had nearly every night since they moved to California. As much as she hated to admit it, she was struggling without Jonah. She was especially struggling in the area of bedtime considering Jonah’d sang to Parker nightly ever since he was born. After the move he’d been inconsolable without his father to lull him to sleep, Amy tried to fill the gaps but it wasn’t enough. Her heart broke to see her child so upset, he didn’t understand why suddenly his dad was no longer with them. 

Amy laid Parker down gently on his bed, covering him with the blanket and grabbed the little stuffed dog Jonah had got him, nestling it up beside him in hopes it would suffice in place of his father. She kissed his forehead and turning to leave she heard a tiny voice call for her. 

“Mommy,” Parker whimpered, “I miss Daddy”. His little lip quivered, tears threatening to spill over. Amy walked back over to his bed and sat down beside him. 

“I know baby,” she answered, smoothing his hair down as she tried to distract herself from the newfound stinging in her eyes, “I miss him too”. 

She sat with Parker for a few minutes, rubbing his head lovingly as she watched sleep wash over him. Tonight his cries had been different, his voice was filled with sadness as he realised his dad wasn’t coming to sing to him anymore. Not tonight and not ever again it seemed. Amy got up and left his room, shutting the door behind her as tears ran down her cheeks. She covered her mouth with the back of her hand in an attempt to hold back the sobs she felt bubbling up inside. 

When she reached her room she threw herself on her bed as an indescribable grief consumed her. Her breaths were raspy and short, struggling to breathe through the cries that shook her body. It was all too much for her to bear, perhaps she could deal with the pain better if it were just her. But seeing her child, the one she was chosen to shield safely away from the burdens of the world be so upset over her mistake, a completely avoidable situation, ruined her. Amy felt like she’d failed Parker, only three years old and she’d already subjected him to so much heartache all on account of her. So she cried. She cried for what might have been, what should have been. She cried for her son and how he didn’t understand why his dad was no longer with them. 

Tonight was grief ridden, full of suffering too terrible to name. Jonah should be with them in California, but here she was, alone. Amy swore she felt her heart physically break. 

— 

Jonah laid in bed staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep as his mind raced with memories of better days. He missed Amy and the good times they had. Years of flirting at work and finding ways to pass the time. Stolen kisses in near death situations and in warehouse declarations of impending change. A fresh start that unknowingly reset the clock for their time at Cloud 9, resulting in Amy being back at work mere days after giving birth. 

He remembers the night after her first day back and how exhausted she was. She was tired, sore, and already completely burnt out. Jonah tried to help her in the best ways he knew how. He was there with heat pads and ice packs, even witch hazel to minimise her soreness. Tylenol was her best friend as was the softness of her bed. He changed the sheets without judgement if her bleeding was particularly heavy, providing soothing words to ease her embarrassment. Overall, he was a source of comfort for Amy in her time of need, his love for her only growing by the day. 

Jonah’s mind wandered to Parker. The sweet baby boy that though wasn’t his by blood, was loved as if he were. He felt such affection for him and swore he’d never leave him. The promise was broken when Amy moved to California, taking his son with her. The first few nights after they left were difficult, he tried to find the routine he had before Parker, before Amy, before the mess that he now was. It had become normal for Jonah to sing their child to sleep, an occurrence that arose in the few days following his birth. He’d get up in the night to tend to the newborn so Amy could sleep, her body had undergone so much and it needed proper rest in order to heal. After either giving Parker a bottle, a change, or both he would sit in the rocking chair in the corner of the nursery. The faint sliver of moonlight shining through the window blinds, a peace beyond understanding filling the room.

On the third night following his birth he just wasn’t settling, no matter what Jonah did. He tried every trick in the book, he paced the room rubbing his little back ever so gently and even tried using white noise from an app on his phone. Somewhat frustrated he sat down in the chair, slowly rocking back and forth. Parker calmed down slightly at the motion but still not enough for him to fall back asleep. Jonah hoped maybe a song would be that final push for him to sleep, so he began singing the first song that came to his mind. 

_They asked me how I knew  
My true love was true  
I, of course, replied  
"Something here inside  
Cannot be denied" _

_They said, "Someday you'll find  
All who love are blind"_

_When your heart's on fire  
You must realize  
Smoke gets in your eyes_

_So, I chaffed them  
As I gaily laughed  
To think they would doubt our love  
Yet today, my love has gone away  
I am without my love  
Now, laughing friends deride  
Tears, I cannot hide_

_So, I smile and say_  
_"When a lovely flame dies_  
_Smoke gets in your eyes_ " 

He watched as with each verse he relaxed and slowly drifted back off to sleep. From that point on, he sang the same song to him every night. The last night they were together he sang it, tears burning in his eyes as he drew the song out as long as he could, not wanting to accept it would be for the last time. Jonah took a mental picture of how Parker looked in that moment: so peaceful as his eyelids became too heavy to stay open, how he hugged his little stuffed dog close to his chest, the way sections of his hair always went awry and how Jonah smoothed it back into place one last time. He didn’t want to let him go, his little boy who was one sleep away from a flight to California. 

With tears rolling down his face he placed a kiss on Parker’s forehead, lingering just slightly. When he got up to leave the room he saw Amy standing in the door frame, arms crossed as she reached up to wipe her eyes. Jonah made his way towards her, head down as he planned to slip past her. In the hallway though he felt her hand on his shoulder turning him around as she cupped both sides of his face, pulling him to meet her lips. She choked out sob and broke apart, wrapping her arms around him as she cried into his chest. He held her close, planting a kiss on top of her head through the tears. 

“I’ll miss you,” she whispered, breaking Jonah’s heart even more. 

These were the memories that haunted Jonah, the ones that played in his restless mind as he tried to fall asleep. He tossed and turned in the bed that now felt too big, it was cold without her by his side. Much like that night with Parker he tried everything to help him sleep, all of which failed. Except for one thing, the same thing that finally sent the newborn in his arms off to sleep: a song. He picked up his phone and searched through his music, stopping at _Smoke Gets in Your Eyes_. Jonah pressed play and let the song be his own lullaby, he closed his eyes and dreamt of when they were all together. If only it were still that other time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart can’t take it. 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! ♡


	10. I’ll Hold You ‘Til You Fall Asleep*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonah and Amy experience a loss neither of them were expecting.
> 
> **severe content warning, see below**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh...I tentatively post this and might take it down. Partially because of the content and partially because I don’t feel I wrote it to the best of my ability. It’s very dialogue heavy which is something I’ve always struggled with. Now, for whatever reason I dreamed this particular scenario and it wouldn’t leave my head until I wrote it. This took 12 days to write and is by far the longest story I’ve ever written, clocking in at a whopping 5,746 words. 
> 
> The main reason I wrote this was I wanted to explore the idea of grief and how Jonah and Amy would respond to it. I’ve only seen a few fics of them with such “dark” content and wanted to try my hand at something along these lines. It was hard to do, my writing is very weak here and gets worse towards the end. I’ll probably spend a lot of time coming back and editing it so I can at least have it exist here in a form that’s not so shitty. Enough talk from me, here’s the story. 
> 
> **rated m for upsetting themes  
>  tw // miscarriage, unknown pregnancy **
> 
> title is from “Always Goodnight” by Scott Alan

Jonah’s alarm went off at exactly 06:45, the same time it did every work day. When he first started he didn’t have to be in until around 08:30 for the morning meeting, but ever since Amy got promoted to the manager position he started going in earlier with her. The two had been dating for over three years now, and were pushing seven years of knowing each other. It was crazy how the time had passed, feeling like yesterday and forever since Jonah’s first day at Cloud 9. The family he had with Amy was one of his most cherished things in life, though they had no children of their own he loved Emma and Parker as if they were of his flesh and blood. Emma had just turned 18 and Parker was already almost 4, years flew by as he watched them grow up right before his eyes. 

He silenced his alarm and rolled over only to find Amy still in bed, curled up with her back towards him. Usually she got up before him so to see her still seemingly fast asleep raised a variety of red flags in his mind. Trying to shake his anxiety he gently shook her shoulder in an attempt to wake her up, perhaps she simply decided to sleep a little later today. To Jonah’s surprise the only reaction elicited from her was a pained whimper accompanied by sniffles. His blood ran cold as he sensed that something wasn’t right, there was something wrong but he didn’t know what. He got up and made his way around the bed to her side, kneeling down to meet her eyes. 

“Hey Ames, what’s going on?” Jonah questioned, his voice barely above a whisper as he brushed the hair that had fallen around her eyes aside. He noticed tear stains on her cheeks, only causing him to worry even more. 

“I don’t know,” Amy cried, her body now shuddering with sobs. “My stomach hurts so bad and I don’t know why”. 

Something within him told him that there was something very wrong and to get her help immediately. Jonah couldn’t project his worries on to her, it would only make her more upset. So he gently kissed her forehead and told her he’d be right back before stepping into the hallway. He opened his phone and called Dina, she could step in and act as manager in Amy’s absence but only if she first knew what the hell was going on. 

“Jonah? Why are you calling me so early in the morning, you’ll literally see me in like an hour. It must be pretty important to keep you from having morning sex with Amy,” Dina said from the other side of the line. Jonah rolled his eyes at her comment, why couldn’t she just answer the phone like a normal person? 

“Yeah, about Amy,” he began, his voice faltering slightly as he tried to ease his nerves, “um, I don’t think she’ll be able to come in today. Me either, actually. I think I’m going to have to take her to the emergency room because something’s not right and I’m really worried. She’s in a lot of pain and I don’t know what to do or how to help her and I just-“

Dina cut him off mid-sentence, words were flying out of his mouth faster than she could comprehend. She sensed the panic in his voice and needed to get him to be quiet for two seconds so she could understand what was happening. 

“Jonah, I need you to stop talking. What’s going on with Amy?” she asked, a slightly firm tone behind her words. 

“I-I don’t know. She was still asleep when I woke up which is strange for her but I thought maybe she was sleeping a little later than usual. So I kinda shook her shoulder to wake her up but she was crying and was obviously in pain. I just have a feeling that there’s something wrong but I’m not sure what.” he said, his voice shaking with every word. 

“What kind of pain?” Dina responded, her tone calm in comparison.

“I’m not sure, she just said her stomach hurt but that’s a pretty vague statement”. 

“Yeah, it could be anything really. Is she on her period? It could be bad cramps but I’ve never seen her cry from them before. She could have a cyst, they hurt like hell, believe me. Appendicitis maybe? Does she have a fever?” 

“I don’t know if she’s on her period Dina, she’s not exactly the most open about those things. But no, no fever,” Jonah answered, suddenly calm as he shifted into a sort of survival mode, the only thing that mattered was Amy and her well-being. 

“I suggest taking her in, especially since she’s clearly in a lot of pain. I’ll cover for you both, just keep me updated”. 

“Alright, will do. Thank you, Dina” Jonah said before hanging up the phone. He took a deep breath to settle the nerves that were trying to resurface as he made his way towards Emma’s room to tell her what was going on. He felt bad having to wake her up but she’d be getting up soon anyway. He gently knocked on her door, debating whether or not to go ahead and open it but decided against that idea due to the fact that she was his girlfriend’s teenage daughter and it felt wrong inviting himself into her room. 

“Jonah...hi” Emma said after opening the door, her voice sleep filled and eyes squinted as they adjusted to the light of the hallway. “Do you need something?” 

“Um, kinda, well I’m taking Amy—I mean your mother—to the emergency room because she’s in a lot of pain but we don’t know why so just to be safe I’m taking her in to get checked out. Could you stay home with Parker today? I know you have school but Connie’s busy and I’d rather not take him into daycare in case she’s sick with something contagious, you know?” 

“Yeah sure, I guess,” Emma replied, her tired mind still trying to process all the information just given to her, “but is mom gonna be okay?” 

“She’s going to be fine, I promise,” Jonah told his sort of step-daughter, trying to keep his voice calm as not to worry her. “Could you go start the car for me, please? I’m going to get your mom and we’ll be right out, okay?” She nodded her head in agreement and Jonah thanked her before heading down the hall back to his and Amy’s bedroom. She was still curled up in the same position she was in when he left her and he made his way to her side again. 

“Hey, I’m taking you to the ER to get you checked out, alright?” he spoke softly to her and she answered with a small _mmhmm_ as he rubbed up and down her arm, trying his best to soothe her. “I’ll carry you out to the car so you don’t have to walk when you’re hurting, is that okay?” She gave him another _mmhmm_ before he gently lifted her up, trying to be as delicate as possible. Amy’s cries became more fervent as she wrapped her arms around Jonah’s neck, the movement of her body causing even more discomfort. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I know it hurts but it’s okay, you’re okay,” Jonah whispered, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. His heart broke to see her this way, he rarely saw her cry, especially to this extent. All he wanted to do was make the pain go away, if that meant it was transferred to him then so be it. 

He walked out to the car Emma thankfully had started, she opened the passenger side door for Jonah as he sat Amy down. He noticed the concern drawn on Emma’s face and closing the door he turned to face her. 

“She’s going to be okay,” he reassured her, walking around the front of the car to the drivers side. “I’ll text you and keep you updated, thank you for staying with Parker. Be good.” Jonah cringed slightly after adding “be good”, that’s like something you say to your kid when leaving them with a babysitter, not an 18 year old girl watching her brother for the day. It’s fine, he was frazzled and didn’t really know what to do in this situation. 

Jonah drove as fast he possibly could towards Mercy Vale Hospital. He wished it was legal to go whatever speed necessary when trying to take someone to the ER but alas there are speed limits and he didn’t want to risk getting pulled over. Thank God for the health insurance both him and Amy now had access to since she was manager. There was no way in hell he was taking her to some rundown clinic, if he had to go thousands of dollars more into debt to ensure she was getting the best care possible he’d do it in a heartbeat. 

Thankfully they didn’t live too far away and the roads weren’t flooded by the morning rush quite yet. He anxiously tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, occasionally looking over at Amy to make sure she was okay. 

“Jonah. Jonah I’m bleeding, oh my god” she choked out, sounding as if she was about to start hyperventilating at any moment. Jonah felt like he’d been kicked in the gut, his stomach twisting into a thousand knots. He needed to stay calm but how on Earth does one keep their composure after hearing _that_? Amy was starting to panic, sending Jonah into even more of a mental frenzy because what was he supposed to do? He felt completely helpless and was seconds away from panicking himself. 

In an attempt to calm Amy down, as well as himself he had to admit, he pulled off the road at the nearest gas station and threw the car in park. 

“Amy, I need you to look at me” Jonah said, his voice surprisingly steady despite everything going on. He took her hand, bringing her attention to him as he noticed the fear and confusion in her eyes. “Ames I need you to breathe, okay? I’m right here, just focus on me and nothing else”. She took ragged breaths, exhaling heavily through her mouth. Her gaze was locked in on him, like he was the only stable thing left in the world. 

“Keep taking deep breaths for me, you’re doing great” he continued, watching her slowly release the tension she held throughout her body. “You’re gonna be alright Ames, but I need you to stay calm so I can get you somewhere to help you, okay? Can we do that?” Amy shook her head in agreement and Jonah felt her hand shake as she held his. He’d never seen her like this before, so completely terrified and confused and prayed he’d never have to see this side of her again. He continued to hold Amy’s hand as he got back on the road, they weren’t too far away from the hospital at this point. 

Jonah drove to the emergency department entrance and parked in front of the doors. Getting out of the car he rushed to Amy’s side and scooped her up in his arms once more. He noticed the amount of blood on the seat and tried to hide it from her line of sight as not to frighten her even more. She whimpered softly, feeling nauseous from being overwhelmed by pain and fear. The movement out of the car didn’t help and it only upset her stomach even more. 

“Hey Jonah, I don’t-“ Amy started, unable to finish her sentence as she became sick, retching onto the pavement. Jonah jumped slightly at the suddenness of it all, bile barely missing his shoes as he carried her. 

“I’m so sorry, Jonah I didn’t mean to,” she cried, burying her face into the crook of his neck. He felt her body shudder with new sobs, just when he thought his heart had already been broken enough. 

“No, no, no, no, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Jonah said, speaking with a sincere gentleness in his voice. He tried to comfort her the best he could, feeling less than adequate for the task. He walked inside the doors where thankfully a nurse met them having been aware of their arrival. They brought a wheelchair out for her and Jonah sat her down, pressing his lips against her temple. 

“I love you” he whispered in her ear, now standing watching as they took her back. For the first time this morning he felt his eyes sting with the formation of tears, blinking rapidly to try and stop them from spilling over. Now he was alone and all he could do was wait. 

— 

Jonah’s leg bounced anxiously as he sat in the waiting room, the only noise coming from the small television in the corner. He’d text Emma to let her know they were there and that he’d update her as soon as he found something out. About an hour and a half passed with no word on Amy, mindlessly piddling around on his phone to distract himself. 

Finally after what felt like an eternity one of the doctors came out to speak with him. He introduced himself but Jonah didn’t catch his name as he was too worried about the prognosis that lay before him. 

“I’m so sorry Mr. Simms, but she’s had a miscarriage.”

He listened as his entire world collapsed in a matter of words, the breath in his lungs knocked out leaving him gasping for air. For answers. 

“W-what? How?” Jonah stammered, he felt like he was losing touch with reality. 

“We don’t know why these things happen sometimes, there could be many different factors-“

Jonah cut him off. 

“No, no...she was pregnant?” he asked, tears once again welling up in his eyes. 

“Yes, she was only about six weeks along. Unfortunately miscarrying so early on is more common than one might think. Some women only have minor discomfort and simply think it’s a late period. Others, like in Ms. Sosa’s case, are much more intense. It varies from person to person”. 

The doctor went on to list reasons as to why it could’ve happened and what to expect over the next few weeks. Jonah listened halfheartedly, his mind drifting to the fact that Amy was pregnant...or used to be. 

“Did Amy know she was pregnant?” Jonah interjected, his thoughts voicing themselves out loud. 

“No, she didn’t,” the doctor replied, a hint of genuine sadness on his face. He told Jonah they were in the process of discharging her, explaining it would be best for her to recover at home where she was most comfortable. Jonah thanked him as he offered his condolences and left him alone again. He sat down, still trying to process everything he’d just heard. 

A while later a nurse walked out with Amy. Jonah noticed a small bandage on her wrist, presumably from where they’d put an IV to help manage her pain. She flashed him a weak, defeated smile and grabbed his hand as they exited. 

When they got to the car he opened the door for her, grateful he’d covered the bloody seat with a towel he’d found in the trunk. He turned the key in the ignition and heard Amy speak so softly he almost didn’t hear her. 

“Can you talk to Emma for me?” she asked, her voice full of sadness as she stared blankly out the front window.

“Of course” Jonah answered. He pulled out his phone quickly before he started driving to text Emma. 

_We’re on our way home. Can you have Parker stay in his room for me please? Could you also wait in yours until I can come talk to you?_

He sat his phone down and began the silent drive home, both of their hearts completely shattered. 

—

When they got back home Amy walked to their bedroom without a word, her head down as she wiped tears from her eyes. As much as he wanted to go and be with her Jonah knew he needed to talk to Emma, probably Parker too, as soon as possible. If he went with Amy he’d probably let the grief consume him and would be unable to talk to her children like she’d asked him to. So he made his way to Emma’s room, knocking softly on the door and hearing a “come in” from the other side. He took a deep breath and braced himself for the difficult news he was about to deliver. 

Emma was sitting on her bed with her phone in hand, putting it down upon Jonah’s arrival. 

“How’s mom?” she asked, her voice full of worry. Jonah sat at the foot of her bed, to which she scooted closer to him anxiously waiting for an answer. 

“Your moms gonna be fine,” he replied, smiling weakly. It was a truth in the fact that she’d live, but a lie in regards to her emotional status. 

“What’s wrong with her?”

Jonah shifted uncomfortably, wanting to run out of the room, out of the nightmare he’d woken up to. This was the last thing on his mind when he noticed Amy’s state this morning. In fact, it didn’t occur to him that it was even a possibility. Now he had to tell her daughter something he didn’t want to believe himself. 

“Umm...your mother,” he pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting back tears he couldn’t shed...at least not in front of Emma. He needed to be strong for her. “Your mother had a miscarriage.” It was the first time he’d said it out loud and it hit him like a ton of bricks. 

“Wait what?” Emma answered, her voice cracking slightly as she began to cry, completely shocked by the words she’d just heard. “Did you know she was pregnant?”

Jonah shook his head, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. 

“No,” he said no louder than a whisper, “she didn’t know either”. Emma sat silently trying to process everything before leaning over to rest her head on Jonah’s shoulder. He was taken aback by this affectionate gesture and was unsure of what to do. So for now he just sat there with her while she cried. 

“I don’t understand,” she sobbed, breaking Jonah’s heart even more. Emma turned and hugged him, crying into his chest and Jonah now let his own tears fall freely. 

“I don’t either,” he responded, his voice breaking as he wrapped his arms around her. They sat like that for a while, just being someone to hold on to for one another. Jonah explained everything the doctor had told him and informed Emma he would probably have her and Parker stay at Amy’s parents for a few days, allowing her time to grieve and process the loss she’d experienced without having to worry about projecting her emotions onto her children. She understood, wanting to help her mother in any way she could. 

Jonah dried his eyes of tears and got up to leave the room. Just before he was about to close the door he heard a small “Love you, Jonah” come from Emma, he smiled. For years he’d wondered if she even liked him. Afterall he was the guy that, in a way, allowed her mom to see how unfulfilling the marriage she was in was and led to their divorce. He gave a quiet “Love you too” back as the door shut behind him. 

Now a more difficult conversation laid before him; he had to talk to Parker. There was a very slim chance that he’d even comprehend exactly what had happened, should he try and explain it in terms he’d understand? Or be surface level in his explanation as not to confuse the child? Mainly, Jonah just didn’t want to upset or overwhelm him with things he didn’t quite get.

He opened Parker’s door slowly in case he’d fallen asleep. He hadn’t and was just sitting on the floor by his bed in his own little world. 

“Daddy!” he squealed as Jonah walked in, running towards him as his dad squatted down to his level. Parker threw his little arms around his neck in a hug, Jonah holding him close. He loved this little boy so much, he had made him a father. Although not biologically related he was his son more than anything else. 

“Hey buddy” Jonah laughed, moving to meet the little boy's eyes. Standing, he swooped Parker up in his arms to which he shrieked joyfully. He sat down on the bed, still holding the child in his lap and smoothed down his hair. 

“Alright, I need to talk to you about something but I also need you to promise me that you can listen and behave like a big boy right now, okay? It’s really important so I need your full attention. Can you do that for me?”

Parker nodded his head enthusiastically. 

“Do you know why Emma stayed home with you today?” Jonah asked. 

“She said mommy was sick,” Parker answered, glancing up to look his father in the eyes. Jonah’s heart melted at how lovingly he looked at him. 

“That’s right. Mommy doesn’t feel too good right now and she’s pretty sad because no one likes to not feel good. Remember how you felt when you were sick a little while ago? How you didn’t really want to do anything since you didn’t feel good? Well, that’s how Mommy feels today. Do you also remember how it took a few days for you to get better? It’s gonna take her a few days to feel better too, it may even take longer because sometimes grown ups go through things that take more time to heal. Since Mommy’s not feeling good I have to take care of her like she took care of you. So for just a few days you might have to stay with Grandma and Grandpa, but in case you don’t I’m going to need you to be on your best behaviour for me okay? Like extra, extra best behaviour. It’ll help Mommy feel better knowing you’re acting so grown up. Does that sound like something you’re big enough to do?”

Jonah watched Parker as he spoke, seeing the wheels turning in his mind. He agreed to his dad’s proposal of being on his best behaviour, thankfully not asking any questions in regards to what _exactly_ was wrong with his mother. 

“Okay, now why don’t you go see if Emma can put a movie on her laptop for you?” he suggested, Parker hopping off his lap and running down the hallway to his sisters room. Jonah stood up and walked towards his and Amy’s bedroom. His stomach felt queasy for some unknown reason, he was afraid he’d say something and accidentally make her even more upset. He was also afraid that by him not saying anything she’d have the same reaction. It was unknown territory he was facing, usually he always had an answer but right now he didn’t and it all felt so strange. 

Jonah quietly opened the door to their bedroom, he saw Amy lying curled up in the fetal position facing his side of the bed. Her eyes were closed as she lay there sniffling, her nose stuffy from crying. Shutting the door behind him he walked towards her, any uneasy feeling he’d had before disappearing as it was replaced with an indescribable grief. He laid down on his back beside her, to which she moved in closer, wrapping her arms around his torso. Amy completely broke as uncontrollable sobs of agony came from deep within. Jonah rubbed his thumb back and forth across her cheek, shutting his eyes as fresh tears spilled over. 

So this was what hell felt like. Unimaginable pain and suffering, longing for the goodness of heaven only to be pulled back down into the depths of fiery sorrow. What had Amy done to deserve this? Which god or celestial entity bestowed this misery upon her? She was too good, too gentle to have to experience such wretched heartache. Jonah prayed to any supernatural being that would listen to relieve her from this anguish and give it to him instead. He would take her dolor on top of his own, carrying the weight of her misfortunes so she didn’t have to endure them. Love was sacrifice, and if that meant inheriting her woes then he surrendered. 

Amy’s cries quieted for now but still she clung to Jonah. Jonah, the one who had always been there for her without a single question. Jonah, the one who raised another man's child with her as if it were his own. Jonah, the one who had devoted his life to her. His love had never wavered and it wasn’t about to start. If anything was for certain Amy knew he’d never leave her side, but right now all she wanted was to be alone. She needed time to think, time to take in the whirlwind of a day she’d already had and it was barely past 11:00. She worried for Emma, knowing Jonah had told her everything. She worried for Parker, hoping his little mind could understand why his mother needed her space. She worried for Jonah, anxious to hear his thoughts for she knew his mind was racing. 

Amy shifted out of his arms as she wiped away her tears. 

“Jonah, I’m sorry but I need to be alone right now,” she said, choking out her words as another wave of grief washed over her. He nodded his head and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Walking into the living room he unlocked his phone, pulling up Amy’s mother Connie’s contact. He knew she was busy today but this couldn’t wait. In his heart he knew Amy was inching closer and closer to a complete breakdown, having been trying to suppress her emotions the best she could all day. Her children didn’t need to be in the house, they didn’t deserve to be subjected to the pain their parents were feeling. So he pressed the call button and after a few rings she picked up. 

“Hey Connie, we need to talk”

—

Jonah held himself together pretty well throughout the phone call, remaining calm and keeping his composure about him. Connie was obviously heartbroken but agreed to take the children in for a few days so there was room to heal. She told him she’d be there to get Emma and Parker within the hour, forgetting the errands she’d had for that day. So he went back into Emma’s room, where she and Parker were laying on her bed watching _The Lion King_ and told them the plan for the coming days. He asked Emma to help Parker pack his things and went to check on Amy. 

As he walked down the hall he heard a knock on the door, surely it wasn’t Connie already but perhaps she had rushed away from wherever she was. Opening the door though Jonah was shocked to be met by Dina on the other side, wearing the same blue Cloud 9 polo but her hair was down currently, which was surprising.

“Dina...what are you doing here?” he stammered, afraid of coming off as annoyed by the phrasing of his question. 

“I’m on my lunch break and decided to drive by and see if you guys were home yet, I’ve been worried about Amy,” she replied, sincerity in her tone as she voiced her concerns about Amy. 

“Oh, um she’ll be fine,” Jonah said vaguely. 

“What was wrong?”

Jonah swallowed the lump in his throat. Oh God, he was _not_ about to cry in front of Dina, of all people. He blinked rapidly in an attempt to make the tears go away, but instead it only caused them to fall quicker and soon he found himself sobbing on the doorstep of his home in front of the assistant manager. He told her everything, struggling to catch his breath as the tears fell faster. Dina listened, shocked and deeply saddened. As much as she tried to come across as having a tough exterior, she was greatly affected by the struggles of the ones she cared about. Tears formed in her eyes too, her heart broken for Amy and Jonah. She pulled him into a hug, one he very much needed and appreciated. 

Just as Jonah began pulling himself together he saw Connie pull into the driveway. Dina bid him goodbye, expressing her sympathy and reiterating her intent to support them in any way they needed. Jonah invited Connie inside and went to tell Emma and Parker of her arrival. They were glad to see her and Jonah gave both of them hugs before they left, even if it was just for a few days he would miss them while they were away. 

Now that the house was empty Jonah made his way back to the bedroom to where Amy was. He found her yet again curled up in the blankets, but this time she sat up when he entered. He went and sat on his side of the bed, Amy moved in closer to rest her head on his shoulder. Her eyes were red and puffy with cheeks stained by tears. Jonah turned and kissed her head only to be met with a reaction he didn’t quite expect. 

“No,” she whispered weakly, “please don’t”. Amy lifted her head off him, crying as she spoke. “You don’t need to pretend to love me anymore”.

Jonah’s soul was crushed at her words. The fact that she’d managed to convince herself that he should no longer love her ruined him. There was nothing in the world she could do to ever defer his affections for her, surely she knew that deep down, right? 

“Amy, look at me,” he said, his voice full of gentleness and love. She brought her eyes up slowly to meet his, the brokenness behind them causing his throat to feel tight as he struggled not to break apart.

“I’ll _always_ love you. From the moment I first saw you until now there’s never been a time, not even for a second, where I ever doubted my love for you”. Tears welled up in Jonah’s eyes, he absolutely adored her and he so wished she knew that, especially right now. She was everything to him and he’d be lost without her. 

He watched as Amy Sosa, the strongest person he’d ever met, became completely undone. She collapsed into him, her wails of pure pain echoing through the silent house. Her entire body shook with sobs, unable to catch her breath and drowning in grief. Jonah rubbed soothing circles on her back, whispering words of comfort in her ear. He allowed himself to cry now too, sharing in her sorrow and fully feeling the heaviness of the day for the first time. 

“I’m sorry, it’s all my fault,” Amy choked out, “if I would’ve known maybe I could’ve done something to keep this from happening but I didn’t and it’s my fault”. Her voice was hoarse and grief ridden. Jonah’s stomach twisted as he listened to her, tears falling faster and holding her closer at the realisation that she thought this was something she caused. She didn’t deserve any of this, any of this pain or grasping for answers only to cast blame on herself in an attempt to somehow make it make sense. Life was cruel and unrelenting, inflicting the worst misery imaginable like Russian Roulette, at chance, on those who deserved it the least. Amy was the epitome of kindness, selflessness, and honesty. None of this suffering was something she should have ever experienced, but the revolver had been loaded and the cylinder spun, randomly firing unbearable amounts of anguish right at her. 

“Amy, no. Please don’t say that.” Jonah started, trying to compose himself enough to speak, “ I promise you you did nothing wrong. Part of you has to believe that, even if just a little bit”. She nodded her head in silent agreement with him. She knew she did nothing wrong deep down, but in what other way would this make sense? Why her? What had she done in her life to cause this to happen? To which star or to which god did she have to pray to get a reason? There was no answer to be given. 

“Can I hear you say out loud that you know you did nothing wrong?” Jonah asked, sniffling. He knew her, he knew she could agree to something silently but it wouldn’t be until she spoke it that she would begin to truly believe it for herself. Usually he gave her time to work through things, but he needed her to believe these words, even if for just a second. He watched as Amy broke down further, having thought she’d already hit rock bottom only to keep succumbing to the grief that lay before her. Jonah took both of her hands in his, holding his entire world and witnessing it crumble beneath impossible tectonic pressure. 

“No,” Amy sobbed, chest heaving as she fought for breath, Jonah pulled her into him, cradling her head close. She screamed in agony, feeling his hold on her tighten. They sat just that way for what seemed like an eternity, Jonah never letting her go. He noticed as her cries slowly subdued and breathing levelled out again, her eyes heavy and tired. All she wanted was to sleep, to let her mind be absent from the pain in the realm of the awoken. Fluttering, Amy’s eyes closed, a peace enveloping her as she drifted off. He slowly laid her down, careful not to wake her, and placed a kiss on her temple. 

“I’ll always be here to hold onto,” Jonah whispered, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind her ear, brushing her cheek gently. He knew she didn’t hear him, but he spoke it over her as a promise. He’d always steal her from the hardest days, staying steadfast as the world stopped turning. At any time of day he would hold her until she fell asleep, always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm...not my best work as you see. I’m nervous about how this story will be received considering the sensitive subject matter. I might not keep it up for very long in all honesty. 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. ♡


	11. All We See is Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All that we dream of awaits patiently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Simmosa drabble bc it’s a sad day. Superstore wrapped filming for the last time ever. My heart hurts.
> 
> **rated g, nothing but fluff ♡**
> 
> title is from “For Forever” from Dear Evan Hansen

A warming ray of light shone through the window, illuminating the house as the brilliant morning sun took its place in the sky. The dew was still on the grass having yet to be evaporated by the rising heat of the day. It wasn’t to be a hot day but rather a mild and sunny one, the first signs of spring breaking through the darkness of a long winter. There was life in St. Louis once again. 

Jonah and Amy stirred in their sleep, awoken by the rays of light dancing across the walls. It was Sunday, a day of rest and recovery from the previous work week. Neither of them worked on Sundays, it was their one day off together but it was still much too early to even think about getting out of bed. Perhaps they’d just stay there all day, cozy under the blankets and curled up with each other. Peace was a beautiful thing and it existed in the moments between them. 

Amy breathed in deeply, stretching out her limbs from the awkward positions they had been subjected to all night. Her face was lined with sleep, eyelids still heavy and begging for her to close them again. She ran a hand through her hair, pushing it back from her eyes and noting its need for a proper wash. Splaying an arm across her face she shielded her eyes from the brightness of the room, the night had been too short. It had been short, yes, but it had been safe. Safe because the one who laid next to her would always protect her. She never again had to be afraid of the night for he would be right there holding her hand to guide her. No matter the darkness she faced, she never had to face it alone. 

Jonah shifted in response to her movement, eyes fluttering open as he too was now awake. The perfectly styled hair he usually donned was wildly messy and hints of scruffy stubble were starting to form as he put off shaving for a few days. He squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light, glancing over at Amy who was beginning to drift back off to sleep. She was perfect. Even in her most vulnerable, natural state there was nothing that could compare to her. In this moment she was beautiful, in every moment actually. There was never a day that passed where he wasn’t left completely speechless by her, and there never would be for the rest of eternity. 

The sun continued to rise as Jonah and Amy returned to the realm of dreams. Dreams, what lovely things. They say they’re wishes your heart makes and that they are. For in their hearts they knew of what they’d wished and what they’d dreamed. They had each other and they were one another’s dream come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! ♡


	12. Your Love Was Handmade for Somebody Like Me**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if Lovebirds wasn’t the first time one of them said “I love you”?
> 
> //
> 
> This story takes place during the timeline of “Managers Conference”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I want to thank my friend @simmstan1 (on here and Twitter) for sharing your headcanon with me and sparking this idea :)
> 
> This story turned out much different than I originally intended, much smuttier too 😳 It just felt right, especially after part of the headcanon mentioned above is this is their first night away from Parker, alone with no one to bother them so it naturally just happened haha
> 
> This is another one of my focusing-on-normalising-certain-aspects-of-intimacy chapters (as an asexual but who cares). This time I explore the idea of communication and it’s importance. I also portray an aspect of sex not often talked about: stopping midway through. As nonexistent as my sexual desires/experiences are I do enjoy writing these type stories. I think it’s important for people to see (or in this case read) that sex isn’t always this perfect, romantic thing like you see in movies. I almost feel hypocritical saying all this when I’ve never even shared a kiss with anyone and definitely never had sex 😂 Anyway, I ramble. Moving on haha
> 
> Overall, I’m pretty pleased and happy with how this turned out; I think it’s one of my better works to date. I hope you enjoy is as much as I did writing!
> 
> **rated e for explicit sexual content**
> 
> title is from “Shape of You” by Ed Sheeran

Jonah stumbles through the door into their hotel room with Amy on one arm and a bag containing the random free stuff on the other. Perhaps overindulging at the open bar during the Cloud 9 Management Summit in Chicago wasn’t the best idea. They _were_ surrounded by d-bags and needed _something_ to mask the pain from the second-hand embarrassment of watching Jeff desperately try to insert himself in conversation. It was just sad, really. 

Amy immediately kicks off her stilettos and flops herself down on the bed, so much for a relaxing bath. It was too much effort to draw it at this point, maybe in the morning with a pounding headache as she cursed herself for drinking so much. They were taking full advantage of an all expenses paid night away and weren’t leaving any earlier than the check out time at 11:00am. Or they could just book another night and stay until Sunday. It would only make sense to stay the whole weekend, right? 

Huffing, Jonah lays beside her. The bags of various and mostly useless items on the floor at the foot of the bed.  
He turns and looks at Amy who’s vacantly staring up at the ceiling while plucking at the belt around her waist. Her hair is splayed out messily across the sheets and the lanyard reading Chien Mon Koh still displayed around her neck. 

“Tonight was actually a lot more fun than I originally expected” Jonah says, breaking the silence. “I never pass on an opportunity to do a character and I really think I found who Colt McCann is by the end of the night”. 

“Yeah, totally. A native Vermonter with a southern accent is exactly who he is” Amy replies blatantly, her eyes flicking over to meet his. She notices the huge grin plastered across his face and can’t help but giggle at the sight of just how cute he looks. God, she loves him.

“What?” he laughs, looking over at her. 

“Nothing” she answers smiling, averting her gaze back to the belt around her waist. Suddenly she’s annoyed at the confining sensation, it’s like a tiny corset. Well, it’s actually nothing like a corset, not even close, but she feels like it’s impossibly tight and cinching in her waist two sizes too small. Which it isn’t, it’s literally just a belt like the ones she’s worn a million times and never batted an eye. Whatever, she’s drunk and hyper aware of everything touching her. It’s only then that she realises how close Jonah is to her, so close she swears she hears his heart beating. It’s actually probably her own heart that she’s hearing, it’s racing in her chest and seems like it might just explode right then and there. For whatever reason butterflies were fluttering around in her stomach tonight, the same feeling she had become accustomed to over the years of flirting and burning glances that left her knees weak. When he looked at her, when he _really_ looked at her, with his eyes travelling up and down her body like he was ready to eat her alive, it knocked every breath out of her. 

Amy groans, flustered. She undoes the belt buckle and arches her back slightly to pull it out from underneath her and throws it off the bed as far away as possible. She turns to face Jonah who’s been watching her intently for a while now. His eyes are locked on her in sort of a trance, she’s just so beautiful he can’t help but stare. In the morning, in the evening; in her waking, in her sleeping; through tears of pain or tears of joy; she’s perfect. She’s everything to him and then some. He loves her, he adores her, he can’t believe she’s his. Not in the literal sense like he _owns_ her or she’s some possession or prize he won, but the fact that she chose _him_. Of all the people in the world she chose him and continues to choose him each and every day. She’s the one his soul had been searching for. 

“Amy,” he whispers. _I love you_ he wants to say but can’t muster the courage, “you’re so beautiful”. The sincerity and gentleness in his voice makes her stomach flip. Usually she’d reply with some snarky comment but tonight her cheeks flush red sheepishly, he thinks _she’s_ beautiful? Her–Amelia Sosa–who’s currently lying drunk on a hotel bed in Chicago looking a mess, is beautiful in his eyes? She feels like she’s in middle school again, smitten because the guy she likes called her pretty. Forget wanting to be liked for her mind or personality or whatever, right now she just wants to feel beautiful and loved and everything in between. Jonah makes her feel that way. She quite literally feels like she’s on cloud nine with him, however cheesy that sounds. 

She loves him, so she closes the space between them and presses her lips against his. An electric spark ignites between her legs, she’s almost embarrassed at this since it was such a gentle and sweet kiss but she decides to go with it...might as well. Amy pulls him back to her, taking him by surprise with a messy, open-mouthed kiss. Jonah gasps as she does so, laughing just slightly at her sudden display of assertiveness. She feels herself grow more and more aroused with his tongue in her mouth and his hand pulling at a fistful of her dark hair. Jonah’s the first to break away, he’s smiling and studying her eagerly. 

“Damn Sosa,” he says, breathless. “You know you can just tell me what you want”. A smug expression is written across his face and she feels the warmth spreading in her lower belly. She suggestively arches her eyebrows and as if on cue Jonah slides off the bed onto his knees. He hooks his arms around Amy’s thighs and pulls her closer to the edge. She giggles and is smiling her real, delightful smile. The one that lights up a room and makes Jonah’s heart skip a beat. He pushes her dress up past her hips and runs his thumbs over her bare skin that's flecked with silver stretch marks, they’re reminders of her strength and only add to the beauty she already possesses. He nudges her knees farther apart and leans in to put his mouth on her. Even over her underwear the rush of sensations course through her body and a small whimper escapes her. 

“May I?” Jonah asks, he’s plucking at the waistband of her panties with one hand and tracing circles with his thumb on the inside of her thigh with the other. Amy nods and purses her lips, giving a simple _mmhm_ as she squeezes her eyes shut in anticipation. He swiftly removes them and pushes her legs open even wider. A gasp hitches in her throat when she feels him on her again, this time there’s no fabric between her and his mouth and the charge that surges through her is addicting. Her breathing shallows as Jonah works to find the rhythm that he knows she likes. His tongue glances across her clit, licking her harder with each swipe. Habitually he moves a hand from her thigh to between her legs and slowly pushes two fingers inside her. Amy flinches at the pressure. 

“Oh fuck,” she hisses and not in a good way. Her knees unintentionally jerk upward and she just barely misses knocking him in the head. It’s at this point in time when she comes to the realisation that Jonah hasn’t gone down on her or touched her in such a way since before she gave birth to Parker. In fact, they hadn’t even been intimate in any capacity since then. It was the last thing on her mind while she was balancing work and caring for a newborn at the same time. Plus her hormones were all over the place, her libido had been insanely low until earlier when she had about three drinks too many. It was game over after that. 

“Shit, oh my god” he stammers as he withdraws his fingers from her. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t—“

Amy cuts him off. 

“No, no, no it’s okay” she says with a surprisingly shrill voice. “It’s the first time we’ve done anything since before Parker and-” _I’m not nearly as wet as I thought I’d be right now_ she thinks, but is unable to get herself to say it, “-I don’t know... it might take a little longer?” She explains and draws out the last half of her sentence, inflecting a tone of tentativeness. Her eyebrows furrow as she speaks and she suddenly feels overwhelmingly vulnerable, embarrassed almost.

“Don’t worry about it. We can take as long as you need, just let me know what _you_ want. If anything doesn’t feel good or you want to stop, tell me” Jonah reassures her. The heat in her belly pools deeper, he’s rubbing the inside of her thighs and watching her relax at his words. She’s never felt more in love with anybody than in this moment. At her okay he settles back between her legs and watches as the muscles in her stomach contract when he puts his mouth on her again. He starts relatively slow, barely glazing over her clit to assess how her body reacts. She inhales deeply through her nose and grasps at the bedsheets for support. 

“Is this okay?” he asks, checking in on her. 

“Yes, just do that” she sighs heavily, shocks of pleasure run through her with each swipe of his tongue. He’s gentle as promised, the feather light contact creates electrifying sparks that shoot straight to her core. She lets out a needy whine and grabs a handful of his hair. 

“Can you, maybe a little harder?” Amy chokes out, struggling to find words through the euphoria. Jonah does as she asks and licks her harder. She moans. It’s one of those guttural, almost primal moans that surfaces from deep within her. He realises now just how hard he is and it takes every ounce of self control for him to not lose himself in that moment. Jesus, there was nothing like her. As much as he desperately wanted to fuck her right now he was focusing on her pleasure and it sent chills down his spine knowing that he’s the one that gets to eat her out like a starving man. 

Holy _God_ her mind goes blank. The only thing that matters is how his mouth feels on her and how he’s so in tune with her body. He knows exactly what she likes and it almost drives her crazy that he does. It was _Jonah_. After years of pining they were finally together and she still couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that it was really _him_ between her legs. If she was being honest with herself she’d fantasised about a moment similar to this countless times on her own. She’d come home from work with a whole day's worth of pent up sexual tension and go solo, running a hand down between her breasts to the growing ache at her center. She tried to imagine that her hand belonged to him as she slipped her fingers inside her…

Amy gasps and comes back to her senses. Her eyes flutter open and she looks at him, his gaze is fixed on her as he continues to suck gently at her clit. She makes a noise at the back of her throat and throws her head back. 

“Jonah _please_ ” she pants, her voice is raspy and full of need. He removes his mouth from her and sits back slightly, he puts both of his hands on her knees and pushes her legs open a bit more. With one hand on her thigh he runs the other from the bottom of her entrance to her clit. She’s definitely much wetter now and she arches into him when he cups her and holy _fuck_. He slips a finger, then two, then three into her as he watches intently to ensure there’s nothing uncomfortable about what he’s doing. He twists his wrist and curls his fingers up, stroking her. Amy’s mouth falls open, she’s breathless. Her hips buck involuntarily and she moans loudly when his tongue laps at her again. He continues to stroke at the spot that blurs her vision, she helplessly thrusts into his hand and feels herself nearing the orgasm that’s been building.

Jonah knows she’s almost there too, her moans are becoming more shrill with each swipe of his tongue and every stroke inside her. She begins to break and he reaches his free hand up and interlaces their fingers, holding her hand as she crescendos. Just like that she’s coming hard and messy all over his hand, her legs are shaking and her vision whites out. Jonah stays with her, licking through the aftershocks. He withdraws his fingers and moves up to kiss her, she’s humming through the blissful waves and tastes herself on his mouth. She laughs, giddy and excited. He moves up the bed to position himself on top of her. Amy breathes in hard through her nose, her hands on both sides of his face. She opens her mouth to meet his tongue and they go on like that for a while, their lips sore and stinging. 

It’s Amy who pushes the sports coat off his shoulders and begins unbuttoning his shirt. He sighs deeply into her mouth and fumbles at his belt buckle, never breaking contact with her. Removing his shirt she runs her hands down his slender body and rakes her nails gently across his skin. Breaking from her lips he awkwardly shimmies out of his pants, his hard dick straining through the fabric of his boxers. Just as he reaches for the elastic to remove them Amy puts a hand on his chest to stop him. 

“Wait, wait, do you have a condom?” she interjects, breathing heavily through her mouth. There was no way she would even take the risk of possibly getting pregnant again so shortly after her last. He nods and slides off her, walking over to his bag where surely there’s at least one buried somewhere. He was right and grabs it from the recesses of one of the inside pockets. Jonah makes his way back to the bed where Amy is pulling her dress up and over her head while he puts the condom on. She throws it aside and it lands on top of Jonah’s clothes, both of their lanyards tangled in the mess of fabric. 

“Can I...keep this on?” Amy asks in reference to the bra that still clasped around her chest. She’s breastfeeding currently and she’s sore and sensitive and really doesn’t want to be touched there at all right now. Even if she wasn’t she feared Jonah wouldn’t find her as attractive as she once was after having seen her use the breast pump and leak through her shirt on multiple occasions. She knew this wasn’t true but still couldn’t shake the feeling. 

“Yes” Jonah answers, almost over enthusiastic with his agreement to her wishes. “Whatever makes you feel comfortable”. He leans forward to kiss her, soft and sweet on her lips. He lines himself up but before he pushes into her Amy stops him again. 

“Wait, please go slow I don’t-“ she cuts short, her cheeks flushing with a sudden shyness. 

“Of course. If it’s too much, tell me and I’ll stop”. Jonah smiles earnestly, sincerity glinting in his eyes. Amy lifts her head and kisses him again, how did she get so lucky? He’s caring and kind and considerate. It almost makes her want to cry because she feels so _loved_. With him she’s cherished, valued, precious. From the first day he met her he’s always held her in higher esteem than himself. Even then, when she was a nameless stranger, he made it a priority to remind her of her worth; because that’s just who he was, who he _is_. 

She feels him take her hand in his again as she takes short, deep breaths. She shifts underneath him hoping that will help release the tension she’s currently holding throughout her body. Slowly he begins to push into her and she scrunches up her nose at the unusual presence of discomfort, tightening her grip on his hand slightly. She didn’t think there would be any discomfort at all considering the fact that he had just fucked her with his fingers but alas; there it was. When he’s fully inside her she lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and relaxes. 

He gives her hand a small squeeze to bring her full attention to him. “You good?” Jonah asks, arching his eyebrows in question. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m good” Amy clarifies. Her eyes are soft and a loving smile forms upon her lips. A small gasp escapes her when he gives a single, tentative rock forward. He looks at her inquisitively to which she simply nods in assurance, communicating that it’s okay for him to proceed. She feels all the nervous energy dissipate as they find their rhythm, both of their sighs now filling the room. Her mind wanders back to the photo lab and their first time together. Given it wasn’t exactly what she’d dreamed it’d be like but it only made sense the way it actually happened. In her mind's eye she always imagined taking it slow (in a private setting, obviously) and exploring each other’s bodies and what one another liked or didn’t like. Instead though the resulting escapade was hasty and fervent, unable to touch each other enough as nearly four years of sexual tension unfolded before the eyes of hundreds. She couldn’t keep her lips off his, for need or for fear of what might slip out if she pulled away even for a second. Though technically she didn’t orgasm she didn’t even care. Sex wasn’t just about having an orgasm anyway and damn if that wasn’t made known to her then. 

Amy returns to reality and what’s happening now, in this moment; Jonah’s sighing softly next to her ear and his pace has quickened so much so that it’s actually too much for her currently. 

“Jonah, Jonah” she repeats and wriggles underneath him, “slower, please slow down”. A faint stinging sensation is pestering her, likely due to the friction combating against her drier postpartum nature.

“Right, sorry” he says, acknowledging her meekly. He recalibrates and adjusts himself accordingly. Anxious thoughts unexpectedly consume her; she feels as if she’s being too demanding, almost like she’s preventing him from an enjoyable experience. Jonah takes notice of the concern written across her face and he stops, pulling out so he can check on her. 

“What’s wrong?” Jonah inquires with a tender voice, his expression is drawn in worry for her. 

“It’s nothing” Amy retorts, trying her best to convince him of her statement. 

“Clearly it’s not nothing you seem apprehensive” he lets out a breathy laugh in an attempt to calm her from whatever’s troubling her. 

“It’s just...I feel like I’m being _too_ needy. I can’t even make this enjoyable for you if I’m constantly telling you what to do”.

He rolls off onto his side next to her, aware of the shimmer in her eyes.

“Ames, you don’t have to worry about ‘making’ anything enjoyable for me, it’s not a performance. If you’re enjoying yourself, I am too; if you’re not, for whatever reason, then I _want_ you to tell me so I can help get you to a place where you are. Even if that means we stop and continue another day I want you to feel comfortable talking to me about what you’re feeling. Communication is a huge part of sex and I don’t want you to think that you have to keep going just for my sake. So let's call it a night for tonight and we can reevaluate how you’re feeling later, okay?” 

An almost panicky look is on Amy’s face. “But what about you you’re-“

Jonah cuts her off before she can finish. 

“Don’t worry about me” he reassures her and cups one side of her face, the tone in his voice is soft and endearing. “You’re my priority right now, everything else can wait”. He rubs his thumb back and forth across her cheek and she relaxes her head into his hand. She sighs and leans in to kiss him. It’s a sweet, loving kiss. One of the ones that makes her fall in love ten times over. Is she in love with him? Is he in love with her? They’ve only been dating a few months but it already feels like a lifetime has passed; a lifetime full of happiness and tender kisses. Jonah’s her best friend and he has been the last couple of years. He’s always there for her no matter what. He unwaveringly provides her a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold in times of need, a laugh to ease her stress, and a hug when she feels overwhelmed. He genuinely cares about her every day without fail. 

Amy nestles herself closer to him, his arm is wrapped around her as he thumbs gentle circles on her bare shoulder. Her head finds its resting place in the crook of his neck with one hand on his chest. She feels her eyelids grow heavy, the effects of waning oxytocin levels and a busy day are catching up to her. Plus, there’s a certain safety there in that moment between them, it’s only them and soon the rest of the world falls away as she drifts off to sleep. Jonah takes note of the way her breathing levels out and how her body fully relaxes into him. He moves his hand up into her hair, running his fingers through her soft, wavy tresses. He’s loved her since the day he met her and not even for a minute has he ever doubted it. She’s the sun, the moon, and all of the stars in his universe. He loves her today, he’ll love her tomorrow, and for the rest of his existence into eternity. 

The courage he’d lost earlier returns, perhaps it’s because he knows she won’t hear him and it makes it a little less scary. Jonah turns his head and places a kiss atop her head. He lingers for a second; she’s his. So softly like a prayer, a promise, a covenant he whispers;

“I love you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One quick thing is I wrote this story more in present perfect/present simple when I usually write using past perfect/simple past, it proved to be a bigger challenge than anticipated so honestly there’s probably strange and random shifts in tenses throughout this. Whoops lmao
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! ♡


	13. Viral Mess**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was going on inside Amy and Jonah’s heads during their romp in the photo lab?
> 
> //
> 
> Set during “Town Hall”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I proposed this idea on Twitter and my moots jumped on it so here it is! This was a lot of fun to write because you basically have half the scene set up for you which makes it easier to focus on their thoughts rather than what they’re actually doing if that makes sense hahaha
> 
> I tried to get inside both of their heads but failed miserably because I always drift back to Jonah, he’s so easy to find and I love writing him so it works out. 
> 
> **rated e for explicit sexual content and language**
> 
> title is from “New Americana” by Halsey

Amy moves various signs out of her way to clear a space on the counter. She’s in the photo lab with Jonah, the unresolved tension still looms above them despite their working together in exposing corporate’s penny-pinching plan to cut older employees. Being as stubborn as she was she’d never admit to herself, and definitely not Jonah, that she hated the strain that their friendship was currently under. Though for most of the day they’d managed to put their issues aside to focus on the ‘ageism discrimination’ that was behind Myrtle’s firing. Now they were alone and she could tell by the expression on Jonah’s face that he was thinking of something to say to break the silence. And sure enough he did. 

“Hey, are we okay?” he says, gesturing between them. If he wouldn’t have reacted so poorly when she kissed him unexpectedly in the warehouse perhaps none of this would be happening. To be fair she had definitely caught him off guard; both with the kiss and then adding she was pregnant like the cherry on top of it all. He was confused. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say or do in that situation. He had a girlfriend, Kelly. His relationship with her was good but his heart wasn’t there, it belonged to the headstrong brunette standing in front of him. 

Amy moves towards him. “Look, why don’t we just start over?” She offers the best thing she can come up with in the moment. Otherwise she’d actually have to be vulnerable and tell him his words and actions cut deep, it hurt to not know if her best friend was going to support her through the shit show called life. They could have that conversation when she wasn’t emotionally drained, maybe. 

“Fresh start?” Jonah asks, hoping to wipe the slate clean. 

“Fresh start.” Amy reiterates. He smiles and she wonders if he knows how wonderful it makes her feel. Everything that came before doesn’t matter anymore. Her heart flutters and she turns her attention to something else before she allows herself to _feel_ too much. 

“Alright so,” she begins but Jonah cuts her off, cupping either side of her face and pulling her in to meet his lips. He should’ve done this years ago, he should’ve done it the second he met her. But she was married then and they were a million worlds apart. Breaking away he notices her eyes are burning into him; oh God, had he just fucked up royally? Before he has time to panic, hell before he even has time to think her lips crash back onto his and his mind goes completely blank. Amy pushes him back towards the counter and he swears he must be dreaming. There’s no way this is actually happening right now. He wraps his arms around waist to pull her closer to him, he’s afraid she’ll slip away and it will all have been a dream. She removes her vest and he follows suit; oh fuck they were doing this. They were doing this _now_. He can't even pull away to catch his breath because as soon as he does her hands frame his face and she kisses him harder, messier, greedier. 

Jonah thinks he’s about to collapse to the floor from the sheer amount of shock flowing through him. He reaches to unbutton the front of her shirt and she’s doing the same, both of their hands shaking in anticipation. Now he’s the one pushing her back towards the photo lab table, still struggling with the smallness of the buttons. He wants nothing more than to rip it off her and run his hands down her bare skin. He’s imagined a scenario similar to that countless times over the course of the past three years; he knew he wanted her but didn’t know he _needed_ her. God, it’s _her_ –Amy Sosa. She’s the one currently lifting herself up onto the table and it’s her lips he’s chasing. Her breathing is heavy, a mix between gasps for air and desperate, needy sighs. It’s ridiculous just how hot he finds that. 

“Oh my god, how many buttons do you have?” she says. The tone of her voice is unlike one he’s ever heard; it’s raspy and low and it sends chills down his spine. 

“A lot.” He’s frantically trying to redirect his thoughts to anything other than the fact that he genuinely doesn’t know how much longer he can last. He hasn’t even seen her yet but it’s years worth of desires all flooding him at once. She pushes his dress shirt off his shoulders and he finally gets the front off hers open. He doesn’t have time to take her in before she’s fumbling with his belt buckle and _shit_ , suddenly his jeans are all too constraining. The little sighs coming from her are about to do him in, so he swiftly takes off his pants and oh god. Oh god she’s doing the same. _Fuck_. He joins her on the table top and pushes down his boxers, finally freed from the confines of the fabric. He lines himself up with her and right before he completely loses the power of rational thought–hesitates briefly. 

“Wait, d-do I need a…?” Jonah stammers slightly. He’s forgotten how to speak because holy shit he’s about to have sex with Amy-fucking-Sosa and she’s infinitely more beautiful than he could’ve ever imagined; and she’s not even fully undressed. 

“No, I'm already pregnant.” For fucks sake it’s like she’s trying to kill him. 

“Oh right that’s awesome.”

“Yeah” Amy says breathlessly. She smiles and he comes to the conclusion that there’s nothing more perfect than her. 

“Great” he replies a little too enthusiastically but thankfully she places her hand on the back of his neck and pulls his lips down to hers; silencing him from saying anything else. The soft moan she makes when he fully lays her down makes him want to scream because he can’t believe this is real life. Their kisses are fervent and needy, both of their lips already sore from the way they’ve barely broken contact. Then he’s inside her and she gasps so ruggedly it takes every ounce of self control he has to contain himself. He breathes heavily next to her ear and nips at the soft skin behind it. Amy wraps her legs around his torso allowing him to go deeper, choking out somewhere between a whimper and a sigh when he does. This can’t be happening, but it is and it’s intoxicating. _She’s_ intoxicating. 

Jonah honestly would’ve thought she’d be more vocal, not that he’s complaining it was merely a thought. Her mouth hangs open and she sighs with each rhythmic movement. Her eyes are shut, seemingly savouring the moment. That is until he hits the spot she’s only ever found while going solo and she releases a moan so filthy that it about ruins him. So he continues to focus just there, listening to the ungodly sounds she’s making. 

“ _Jonah_ ” Amy begs. It’s one word, only two syllables but it’s coming from _her_. The fact that his name is even on her lips in such a manner is something he never thought he’d get to hear; and it shatters him. 

“Oh god, Ames. Oh fuck” he curses, unable to control himself any longer. He’s coming so hard he thinks he’s going to pass out, groaning as he loses himself within her. Holy mother of god it was sinful. Breathless he pulls out of her, shifting his weight off to the side instead of on top of her. He glances over at Amy whose chest is rising and falling quickly with each one of her pants. Her eyes are still closed and she purses her lips while she regains her breath. _Oh shit_ he thinks to himself; he didn’t wait for her. She didn’t finish, or did she? He’s not exactly well versed in reading her post-sex expressions so he has no idea if she came too or not. 

“Amy, did you…?” He trails off, almost scared to hear her answer. Was he seriously that fucking desperate to get off that he didn’t even _try_ to make her come? 

“No but it’s fine” she begins, trying to justify it. “I’m also pregnant so maybe things are a little different, I don’t know.” She shrugs and plays it off fairly well. 

“Oh my god” Jonah stammers and he kicks himself. “I’m so sorry I can–” _go down on you_ he wants to say but it seems a bit forward. Plus before he has a chance to find a way to say it without being too weird, she interrupts him. 

“Seriously, it’s fine.” Amy laughs in an attempt to reassure him. “We should probably get back to work anyway, next time though.” She smirks at him, winking as she awkwardly hops off the table. Holy God, and Jonah thought he was going to pass out before. She wanted there to be a ‘next time’? He felt dizzy as he got dressed, he’d almost forgotten how to walk properly. It was honestly a bit embarrassing how unbelievably undone he was and it made Amy laugh. She’d done that. Well, she caused it. She hadn’t really done much of anything but now it seemed there was all the time in the world to blow his mind yet again; perhaps even more so. 

Before exiting the photo lab Amy pulls Jonah’s face down to kiss her again. They were going to have to talk about what just happened; and unbeknownst to them it also involved corporate. What a pleasant surprise that was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don’t have a whole lot to say about this other than the fact that I didn’t know how to write Amy not finishing, which we discover when they’re talking about the sex tape in “Back to School”. Jonah, to me, seems like the type to be attentive towards those things but for the sake of this story let’s say he was a little lost in the moment 😉 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! ♡


	14. Andante, Andante

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonah takes care of Amy when she’s sick in the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I want to thank @catgirlsosa on Twitter for finally giving me the motivation to write a sick fic drabble 😂 I love the trope of one person taking care of the other when they’re sick because I’m a sucker for kindness lmao. 
> 
> Definitely watched All-Nighter before writing this, Jonah is such a sweetheart I swear. When’s my Jonah gonna show up and create a moment of beauty for me? 😭
> 
> **rated g, suitable for all audiences  
>  cw // illness, emetophobia triggering content**
> 
> title is from “Andante, Andante” from Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

The night felt impossibly long as Amy tossed and turned in bed, unable to get comfortable. She had a pounding headache and was sick to her stomach; her entire body just _hurt_. The waves of nausea were overwhelming as they washed over her unrelentingly. She’d probably caught some sort of stomach bug from work; the amount of people she came into contact with on a daily basis meant she was bound to catch something eventually. Not to mention that Sandra had come in sick a few days prior. That was most likely where whatever pesky virus she was currently dealing with had entered her system. 

Amy picks up her phone to check the time, squinting her eyes as they adjust to the light. 02:17. She groans, frustrated at the fact that she couldn’t sleep. She envied Jonah, who was passed out beside her probably dreaming about the all-natural, locally made yoghourt he wouldn’t shut up about since finding it at the farmers market last weekend. _It’s packed full of probiotics which aid in digestion_ she heard him say, the tone in his voice the same one he always used when trying to justify his argument. As much as he sometimes drove her up the wall with these rather peculiar, and frankly annoying, quirks they were just one of the many things that made her fall in love with him ten times over. It was his dedication to the little things in life that reminded her of his unwavering commitment to her and her children. He cared for Emma and Parker as if they were his own and that was something Amy would never take for granted. 

The waves of nausea peak and she feels her mouth begin to water. She sits up, instinctively reaching out for Jonah who stirs from his slumber at her touch. Even in the darkness of their room he notices the sickly look on her face. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks. His voice is sleep filled and genuine. 

“I don’t feel so good,” she answers flatly, followed by a worried “Oh god.” Jonah senses what’s about to happen and promptly gets out of bed, running to the adjoining bathroom to grab the small trash can in the corner. He meets her at the doorway, just in time too because no sooner does she grab the bin from him she’s retching into it. He moves her hair out of her face, holding it back while she becomes sick. When she’s certain she couldn’t possibly have anything left in her stomach to throw up she pulls back, her eyes watery from heaving. 

“I’m sorry,” Amy says looking at Jonah. She sniffs, her nose is slightly runny now for some reason. 

“No, no it’s okay,” He’s rubbing her back gently and offers a reassuring smile. His need to care for her kicks into a higher gear when he notices how her face is flushed with fever. “Why don’t you take a second to rinse your mouth out and then go back to bed, I’ll be right back.” She nods and he makes his way into the kitchen to get a glass of water and a few crackers. Returning to the bedroom he hands her the glass and crackers before going back into the bathroom where he grabs a bottle of Motrin and a thermometer to check how high her fever is. Thankfully it’s only low-grade, reading at 100.8°. Amy groans, her head is killing and overall she just feels like shit. 

“My head is pounding.” 

“I know, drink some water and eat a few crackers so you can take some medicine. You shouldn’t take it on an empty stomach or you’ll definitely be feeling worse,” Jonah lets out a breathy laugh and Amy does the same. He sits with her in the dim light his bedside lamp radiates wishing he could take the pain away. He runs his hand across her forehead to move her hair aside and tucks it behind her ear. She sighs heavily, holding the glass of water just below her mouth. Her eyes are closed as if she’s trying to compose herself and then she’s leaning over the side of the bed vomiting into the trash can Jonah's moved there for her. He holds her hair back again while her stomach purges itself once more. 

“Jesus,” Amy mumbles when she’s through. She wipes the tears that managed to escape her eyes away and takes a deep breath. “I swear to god I’m going to fire Sandra.” She laughs and goes to lay down, hoping that she could at least go back to sleep. 

“Wait, you need to drink the rest of this.” Jonah holds out the water glass she doesn’t remember handing him and one of the Motrin tablets. “It’s good for you.” As much as she just wants to sleep she does what he says, taking the capsule and downing the rest of the glass. Her body hurts. It’s a deep, throbbing, unrelenting ache that won’t go away. She snuggles up next to Jonah as he turns the light off. He wraps his arm around her and pulls her in close. She, resting her head where it fits perfectly in the crook of his neck. He knows he’ll probably catch whatever it is she has but right now it’s the last thing on his mind. 

Jonah runs his fingers through Amy’s hair as she drifts back off, tenderly caressing her head. He feels his eyelids grow heavy and it’s not long before he too is sleeping soundly with his love in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to get personal but writing _Her body hurts. It’s a deep, throbbing, unrelenting ache that won’t go away._ was kinda hard bc I’m literally describing what I feel on a daily basis. Chronic pain sucks. 
> 
> Anyway as always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! ♡


	15. In the Highlands and the Heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’ll shadow her through the darkest nights. 
> 
> //
> 
> set between “Essential” and “California Part 2”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short drabble because I’ve been pretty anxious and stressed today. Recently I’ve been waking up in the night having panic attacks and I wanted to write through it, so here’s this. It’s currently 01:00 exactly and I’m super tired so there may be errors. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> **rated t for possibly distressing themes  
>  cw // panic attacks**
> 
> title is from “Highlands (Song of Ascent)” by Hillsong United

The night is warm and a soft breeze rattles the limbs of the trees, their leaves lush and green in anticipation of summer. Slivers of pale moonlight work their way through the drawn blinds and the dim glow of a street lamp brings forth trace amounts of light into the room. The night is calm, peaceful, quiet. Not a cricket nor a train in the distance disrupt the restful silence in which Jonah and Amy sleep. Tranquility existing its purest form. 

Jonah stirs slightly, subconsciously drifting closer to Amy. She’s the one his heart loves. He settles in by her side and dreams. He dreams of their future and what it might hold: marriage, a baby, a dog even? Surely the stars will align just right for everything to happen as it’s been supernaturally planned. Only time will tell. One thing is for certain though, Amy Sosa is forever a part of him. From the moment he first saw her he knew. He knew that she was who he’d longed for in his loneliest days and there she stood. Yet years of waiting lied before him but she could be his if he was patient. So he sat still and waited, and now here he was beside her; sleeping peacefully, or so he thought. 

He jolts awake at the sound of her panicked voice calling out for him. 

“Hey, hey Ames it’s okay, you’re okay.” He pulls her trembling frame closer to him, her head resting against his chest as she clutches tightly to his arm. He rubs soothing circles on her back and gently talks to her. 

“Shhh, you’re okay, you’re safe. I’m right here.” 

Amy shudders, crying heavily into him. The stress of the impending move to California had been manifesting itself in the form of panic attacks, unfairly striking as she slept. This was her third one this week and she was exhausted. She awoke in a sweat, disoriented and afraid and struggling to catch her breath. She felt like she was drowning under insufferable ocean waves of doubt. The fight seemed lost, her heart faint. But through it all was Jonah, holding her when the night screamed terror. In him she found rest. 

He met her where she was, his love surrounding her. She stared down the waves because he controlled the tide. He was always there; in the highlands and the heartache all the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! ♡


End file.
